janeal if you see this:

I MISS YOU!!!

and i suddenly thought of this picture. which is why i insisted on changing the banner even though it looks so out of place. this banner brought back memories. how me and xinyi (i forgot whose idea it was) climbed onto the birdbath during CCA. and because of our WONDERFUL climbing, the rest got a chance to take some high angle shot (is that what you call it?) haha. but the end result: everyone else started snapping pictures of us with their camera phones and blackmailing me :D haha. oh and i remember sparring with xinyi during CCA. i want to be back there again ): i miss my CCA. i miss my 4L. i miss the times we spent playing. with you stealing my phone and hiding it from me and i was stupid enough to call you and you were just right beside me and i didn't even know it! Us sleeping under the aircon, laughing and laughing non-stop at the people who stared at us and asked us "do you know you are sleeping under the air-con?" and the rest of the section, all of you were such wonderful cca mates and i think i would not have been any happier in any other cca.

i've gotten so close to you that i don't know what life would be without you. but this has led me to be paranoid, very paranoid and insecure. i'm afraid that you would eventually leave me someday. coz i still think you have no reason to want to be with me. i'm afraid that you would say those words to me again. say that you never did love me and that you were just playing around and call me those hurtful names. i'm super afraid of that happening. i'm so emotionally dependent on you. i don't want to be like that. sometimes i wish i could just harden up so that nothing would hurt. i used to be like a rock. but now i cry so easily. i used to be able to hold back my tears no matter what happened. but i lost that. i used to be able to hide my emotions, but you see me through.

long post (: long time since i posted something so long. good job drina. not that anyone reads this shit anyway :D