runaway from reality

Sunday, May 18, 2008 ♥

♥ 4:38 PM

u seem to be more excited bout what course i should take than me! it's like i don't even know what i like and u keep bombarding me with ideas. buti like your idea about setting up a business. it's something that i didn't think of at all. but when u told me about it, i didn't know y i accepted it. maybe coz u sounded so convincing. so full of yourself, so excited about it that i didn't know what to say to you. you have lots and lots of idea. but maybe setting up a business isn't so good after all. there's lots of things to think about like what if it fail? what if something happens to the company, what if what if what if.... there are so many what ifs. i know i should trust u and i do trust u. but i don' t know why i do. why i believe so much in you such that i'm blinded by the truth. blinded so much so that i cnnt think clearly. it' s like you have deluded me into a dream like quality world, a place where everything is perfect, a place where nothing will fail.

u said that u have hurt me deeply and that u dont' want to hurt me again. that u know that we can never be together. but i'm sure you also know that you are the one person that i dare to be around with and feel secure. someone whom i really trust and believe in. i know that u still want to be with me, coz now and then u still ask me if u propose to me like 10 yrs later, will i accept you and last night u said that if we were in the business together, you would give me best wishes if i were to get married with another guy, but you would be heart broken. i dont' ever think that i will get married. there's too much a commitment. and i don't think i will have the strenght and energy to carry on. it just takes too much out of me. i really hate the feeling that i want to go out with you but my mind says no. i've too much of a commitment at home and it's like a put a rule on myself that i can't go out with you.

i don't think that you should have such a major commitment with me. i'm afraid i'll fail. if so, i will feel that i owe u. after all u have promised to put in so much time, money(u agreed to help me with half the cost). but what if it fails? i means that i have let u down, and that u would have lost a good position in a hotel that u would have loved to work at. it would also mean that you would have wasted time with me, building our so called "dream". it would be time and money wasted for u. and i don't want that to happen. okay maybe i want to work with you, but that doesn't mean that you should forget about what u have studied so hard for and forget about working in a hotel.

right now, i just want you to pass your driving test, it would be a sense of achievement for you i hope. and i want you to quit smoking. i know that it helps you to relax. but there are better ways of relaxing. you are practically killing yourself with all that smoke. haiz dunno what to say to you lah. want or don't want to listen is your problem. there's nothing i can do except wait and hope.

the SMART ONE. ♥

♥ The Lover.

Gets older every second , but most specifically on 23 march
I Love eating anything sweet (:
But I love my family, 4loyalty and the PA section more than that !

Chatterbox ♥

TALK;SHOUT;SCREAM;

LOVEES ♥

♥ Loves

Friends
tennis
taekwondo!
music esp my guitar and piano

wants♥

♥ please

- ~~ipod!~~
- ~~pass black belt~~
- ~~get into vj~~ - ~~crumpler~~
- get 2 dan for my black belt
- spar well with technique
- ~~get through 2nd round in upcoming SPEX comp~~

Click && Fly ♥

♥ byebye ; my dear one ;(

bryan
caroline
daryl
emily
hua qing
janeal
meichi
michelle
minyi
natalie huang
regina
sarah
stacey
wenman
wenyi
xinyi
xinyi (lun)
yanyi
yuying
zoe
two faith
one faith

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