runaway from reality

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 ♥

♥ 3:03 AM

i don't know what i have just done. i have just agreed to be with u again. what was i thinking? i know that i love you, but it's just too soon. i haven't forgotten the pain that you left with me when u broke up with me. i don't want a repeat of history. i know that i still won't be able to go out with you often. will u mind that? i know that u just said that talking on the phone would be enough for you. but after a while, you would realise that it is really not enough. what u need is a person who can commit herself fully to u. not me, coz i know i can't. i just promised not to lie to you. i didn't and i never will. i truly love you. i don't know what i have just landed myself in. it just another pain pool. filled with things that would make me cry, make me want to give up. just like the previous time, i won't be able to give my hundred per cent to you. most of it would go to studying hard and striving for the best. you are different. you are completing your diploma already and it's time that you should setttle down maybe not soon, but in the near future. it's just not right for me to take away that chance of yours. i know that if i had rejected you, you would have felt the pain that i felt 5 months ago and i know that it's hell. it was the most horrible thing to go through and i don't want to put you through that. but now, i don't know what to do. i really don't want a repeat of history, with both of us getting hurt in the end.

it's not entirely your fault that we broke up. in fact it is mine. everytime you say that it's your fault that i have become hurt, i feel like i have cause you to be hurt. i don't know how to approach you. by placing your changes on me, you are practically destroying your future with another person. i don't know why u are doing this.

i haven't slept for the whole night. only from 12 to bout 1.30. coz i was waiting for your call.

i'm useless. i can't do anything for you. not even comfort you when you are down. like today when u told me that ur best friend had passed away, i didn't know what to say.

the SMART ONE. ♥

♥ The Lover.

Gets older every second , but most specifically on 23 march
I Love eating anything sweet (:
But I love my family, 4loyalty and the PA section more than that !

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TALK;SHOUT;SCREAM;

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♥ Loves

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tennis
taekwondo!
music esp my guitar and piano

wants♥

♥ please

- ~~ipod!~~
- ~~pass black belt~~
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- get 2 dan for my black belt
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♥ byebye ; my dear one ;(

bryan
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hua qing
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xinyi (lun)
yanyi
yuying
zoe
two faith
one faith

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