i really need to CONTROL my emotions! arrrg i cnnt jus go about with a black face every single lesson. i need to be more unbiased. haiz my life is in a mess. when did i become so rude to her? y can't i control my anger in front of her? i don't know what has become of me. i really want to change but i don't know how to. whenever she says something that i don't like i will jus vent all my anger on her. when that happens, i jus feel as though there's something really heavy inside me. i want to get it all out, but i can't cause she's still my teacher and i cnnt jus shout at her. like today, i totally blew it. i jus wanted to tell her that it's not her lesson and that it's physics extended and she had to do was to irritated me and i lost my temper at her again. maybe i should go and see a shrink and see how to manage my temper. or maybe i just have a split personality.

anyway besides the unhappy incident, there was something that we did as a class today that was extraordinary that happened today. during maths lesson, which was after morning jog, we did not have maths lessons but instead we ran/walked round the track for 1 hr. thanks to grace! but it was quite fun and i didnt' know that i actually could run non-stop for 1 hr! i was the only one in class who ran for 1 hr. xixian gave up coz she had ballet lesson the nxt day. suprisingly, i did not feel tired after running as well and during the last part where i sprinted, my leg felt so light, and it doesn't even feel like it belongs to me ((:

this week's ur birthday! and i haven't done anything about it yet. i want to go out with u, maybe treat you to something? but apparently u seem to be very busy. i'm sorry if this is because i refused to go out with u previously. but this time's different i'm really serious bout u and i want to see u again. i think i said sorry to u a million times already. i'm sorry forgive me okay?
thursday's valentine's day and sunday's ur birthday. haiz i haven't even gotten u a present. i really going to buy tmr and for that u better get ur butt out of the house. i'm really going to meet u someday and when that day comes, u better agree to go out u should be more free than me coz u dun have sch. i really need you to understand that. yesterday when i spoke to u, i didn't realize that u jus finished work i could tell that u were tired. but i didn't say anything. i wanted to ask u yesterday but i ddin't have the courage. sry sry sry. sry for my actions. will u come back to my side?