LiVe ThE LiVe ThAt I WaNt WiThOuT DiSrUpTiOn

2011-11-23T12:12:00.001+08:00

i'm hurt beyond hurt. i don't know how to put this to you. maybe i've just given up hope on you. why must you keep doing this to me. if you don't have feelings for me anymore, i will just leave. i do not need you to keep breaking my heart. one moment you are kind, nice, awesome towards me. the other moment you are just flirting behind my back. so what if it's virtual. so what if you don't know the person. maybe you will be happier if i'm gone. maybe it's my fault that i made you this way maybe. just maybe. both of us would be better off without each other.

2011-10-02T16:31:00.002+08:00

1, 2, 3 and may this magically all disappear away.

i don't want to cry. but just think about how your words have hurt me.

i want to turn back time

i want to go back to time when we were so happy

happy together.

together forever

hold your hand, loving the feeling i get

maybe we are just not meant to be

maybe just maybe we are meant to be just friends.

but which part of me wants to let go?

maybe bit by bit, it will

bit by bit this pain will all disappear.

2011-09-21T00:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish that I was made up of a block of wood, a piece of metal, so that words, punches, people can't hurt me. I don't want to have emotions any more. It freaking hurts.

I sometime feel i cry a billion tears because of you. because of your words, because of your actions.

I don't want to trust in them anymore, cos i just can't bring myself to. no one can be trusted except for yourself. if this fails, i'm sorry world. i just don't know how i will react.

life sucks. take billion of drugs. even that won't numb the pain i'm feeling inside.

fuck you world.

IT'S OVER!!!

2010-11-30T10:07:00.002+08:00

yesterday. the first taste of FREEDOM!

but it won't last long. work starts tomorrow. Not really looking forward to it. worried, scared.

scared of being lonely. very very scared. not sure of what to expect. at the same time, I'm afraid that i'm not up to the job ):

haha. anyways, had so much fun yesterday :D can't wait for FRIDAY :D

2010-10-23T00:22:00.002+08:00

it's been such a long time since i've stayed up so late :D haha and I'M STUDYING :D unproductively ):

janeal if you see this:

I MISS YOU!!!

and i suddenly thought of this picture. which is why i insisted on changing the banner even though it looks so out of place. this banner brought back memories. how me and xinyi (i forgot whose idea it was) climbed onto the birdbath during CCA. and because of our WONDERFUL climbing, the rest got a chance to take some high angle shot (is that what you call it?) haha. but the end result: everyone else started snapping pictures of us with their camera phones and blackmailing me :D haha. oh and i remember sparring with xinyi during CCA. i want to be back there again ): i miss my CCA. i miss my 4L. i miss the times we spent playing. with you stealing my phone and hiding it from me and i was stupid enough to call you and you were just right beside me and i didn't even know it! Us sleeping under the aircon, laughing and laughing non-stop at the people who stared at us and asked us "do you know you are sleeping under the air-con?" and the rest of the section, all of you were such wonderful cca mates and i think i would not have been any happier in any other cca.

i've gotten so close to you that i don't know what life would be without you. but this has led me to be paranoid, very paranoid and insecure. i'm afraid that you would eventually leave me someday. coz i still think you have no reason to want to be with me. i'm afraid that you would say those words to me again. say that you never did love me and that you were just playing around and call me those hurtful names. i'm super afraid of that happening. i'm so emotionally dependent on you. i don't want to be like that. sometimes i wish i could just harden up so that nothing would hurt. i used to be like a rock. but now i cry so easily. i used to be able to hold back my tears no matter what happened. but i lost that. i used to be able to hide my emotions, but you see me through.

long post (: long time since i posted something so long. good job drina. not that anyone reads this shit anyway :D

2010-07-27T22:22:00.002+08:00

it's 34 days to prelims dear drina. time to start studying. time to put in more productive time and guess what this is? a little time to rant here and there ain't too wrong right?

why is it that it's so obvious to people that you are being so freaking sarcastic to me and you don't even realise it? is a little just a little encouragement so difficult? why won't you recognise my efforts and attempts to study. you are just a freaking demoralising freak in my life. just get out will you. it has come to the point where i get nightmares just thinking about you. why has it become this way? it is not that i'm not worried about my As. i'm freaking worried. but in front of you, i have to put on a brave front. a strong front. something that would shield me from all your remarks. had i not put on that front, i think i would have crumbled down right in front of you, the way i just broke down in the middle of tanjong pagar the day i got my math paper back. to face you, i had to be extra strong. but there's a limit to how strong i can be. drina is a human. i'm not a robot. i have feelings too you know. you can't control me forever. sometimes i just feel like running away. away from all these rubbish i get at home. maybe just maybe. it'll help a little.

drina is a stupid girl who doesn't know anything. i'm just so stupid. wtf. screw this life.

2010-05-26T18:55:00.002+08:00

i'm a derailed train that needs to get back on track. come on drina. you can do this! stop slacking ): everyone's studying so hard and you need to as well!!! stop procrastinating. study hard tmr!!! and the day after and the day after.

can i finally say that i made the decision without regrets? please don't let me down again.

2010-05-20T22:47:00.002+08:00

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!!!!! AND I LOVE THE TENNIS TEAM MORE THAN EVER!!!

i started off with the team, hating it, dreading every moment spent with them. UNTIL last season. last year's team was awesome. we were close, but nothing beats 2010 vj tennis team :D i really think that we have potential to be a closer group of people. i don't want the year to pass just like that. season's over, but it does not mean that our friendship is over. we will always be the most awesome tennis team in my heart. you guys are the best. thanks for playing your hearts out this season. thanks for winning awesome-ly against every single school. thanks for all the cool shit cheer that you came up with. sorry juan for making you nervous on court. sorry that you've got a lousy doubles partner ): i can't say that i've played my best ever, but i tried my best to win the match. but we did win in the end didn't we? even those the score was stupid (who wins 7-5, 6-0) haha i'm sure we had our fair share of fun on the court. thanks for keeping all those balls in. you were GREAT! NATT! wished that we could have played more, but since they are all stronger than us, it's alright :D we had fun training together :D

and to end it all, this year's season ended with a BOOM! WE DID IT! VJ TENNIS FTW!!!

2010-05-03T12:53:00.002+08:00

i wanted to post a long long post about how my life has turned around ever since i told my mom. i really wonder if i made the right decision.

screw it. think happy thoughts.

shopping trip was hilarious :D and i totally enjoyed myself. haha. omg i miss my dates with janeal ): some more please? haha. my new dress is like short. and it keeps coming up higher and higher. haha. and i think i wasted alot of energy buying that dress.

2010-04-16T23:15:00.002+08:00

if you are unhappy with me, just scold me, shout at me, scream at me. don't talk about it as if i can't hear you. do you know how much it hurts. just get away from my life will you. i really don't know what to think of you anymore. i have yet to hear a single word of encouragement from you this year. i really really didn't want to go back today. maybe running away would have been a better option. you really just don't understand do you? why is it that you were so much more caring when i was younger? was it because i was smarter then? i haven't changed. you did. yes. so what if i did slack alot last year. you just claim that you are worried for me. wth. i can clearly see that you are not. stop trying to claim something that is so untrue

like i said before. life is not like a fairy tale and fairy tales no longer have a place in our society. see how right i am?

2010-03-30T17:36:00.003+08:00

outing with mummy/moon was fun :D went to a place called "old school" which i didn't even know existed. haha and i thought mummy how to camwhore with a dslr!! haha. to think that drina would cam whore. see lah s43! all your fault :p

time spent with her made me realise that i had so much fun in st nicks. especially during the last year spent there. made me realise that although i kept insisting on a transfer in the first two years spent there, it wasn't at all a wrong decision to go there in the first place. I think it was the only place that made me laugh so hard, study so hard and play so hard. not vj.

haha sorry mommy for ps-ing you today ):

i was really really glad for my econs results. but someone isn't. i thought that econs would save me from the screaming/shouting. apparently it didn't. what can i do? the two subjects that i studied the hardest for (chem and math) didn't do well at all. totally. what am i supposed to do now? she probably thinks that i'm some slacker who spends too much time on the phone. she probably thinks that i have a boyfriend too (which is totally not true). okay i didn't want to tell her my results immediately after i got it back coz i know that if i don't have a subject to cover that up, i would be DEAD. like totally dead. no more social life from tomorrow onwards kind of thing. apparently i was wrong. okay at least she didn't say that i'm spending too much time outside *beams*

you know sometimes i wish you would read this. then it wouldn't be so hard talking to you. i know how much effort i put into studying for that damn test. yes i know i kind of got distracted during the last week. but look. I FREAKING STUDIED AND DID ALL THAT I COULD before that. 1 week of studying a bit lesser wouldn't have been that bad. i don't show how i really feel in front of you now coz you wouldn't understand a single piece of shit that i say. look at how you treated my SAT results. you just didn't care about my feelings at all and just said that i was lousy. so what if i really am? can you just be supportive for once? i bet you didn't even know that i cried because of what you said. well. after all you don't really seem to care. what difference does it make?

and what am i supposed to do with you now? i shouldn't have said that to you.

2010-03-21T18:11:00.002+08:00

thanks so much for yesterday :D haha. damage control person :D be my les partner?

i love you guys :D

2010-03-02T20:08:00.002+08:00

i decided to put my trust in you again last night. but you just had to make me lose that again. why. why can't you just keep to what you say? just for one night. all you had to was break my trust again. you know what. i'm never going to trust you. never ever again. it was stupid of me to believe in you in the first place. like i said 1 year ago. this entire thing is a farce. i don't know what i'm doing any more.

come on get back to studying!!! you slacker. stop being so stupid. stop giving him chances. just stop all these nonsense.

2010-02-21T16:40:00.004+08:00

what a bad start to the year. first was SAT. i bet no one in the entire universe can score worse than me. and it's not as if i didn't study for it. yes i know i could have done better and i wanted to do better. but you need not tell me straight in the face that "drina you suck". it really hurt you know. that aside, thanks dong ran and khai. but i don't think i want to retake it. if i do badly again, it would be like shooting myself straight in the face that i really am dumb.

and now, i really think it was a bad idea to start talking to him again. damn. it kind of takes up too much of my time and it really really distracts me. HOW NOW BROWN COW? why didn't i just keep my hands of the keypad? after it's been one year already. one whole freaking year without talking/meeting up. you are free. but i'm not. attempt to understand that. now i don't even think that i will be able to ignore you again. it will be another guilt action and i know how much it will kill both of us. this is terrible. how am i supposed to choose between studies and you? just give me two more weeks and when i'm done with ct1, maybe i will spend more time with you. maybe my friend is right. why am i acting like your gf when i'm not? and why do you still treat me as that. maybe celebrating your birthday for you was a bad idea. maintain our distance dear friend.

this is making me very irritated. come on drina. buck up. you and i both know we can do this.

2010-02-10T21:39:00.002+08:00

selfish me wants the j1s to stop flooding the canteen ): i really hate crowded breaks. not enough time to eat. i was just thinking, why live life so stressfully? everyday's like a routine. school, (training/tennis), home, tutorials, sleep. how fun is that? why bother making ourselves boring people since we are going to die off eventually? what if i die without taking any major exams. this kind of brings me back to the time when i was in primary school. after taking PSLE, a student from my school died in a car accident. like bang! and you are dead. she had a whole life ahead of her. she was from the smartest class in school and teachers kind of expected her to do well. well, what if that happened to me? would i have said that i lived life to the fullest? i have so many things that i've yet to do, yet to say. when was the last time i sat down and had a really good chat with somebody? maybe the 16PF is right. i care too much about myself and relationships with people are often not as good as they could have been. i find it really hard to keep in contact with people. we may have been best friends in school. but after we moved to different schools, we kind of fell apart.

to be or not to be. that's the question. damn. i really want to study. but i'm afraid that it will affect me. how? oh man. i hate making decisions ):

2010-01-29T18:48:00.002+08:00

subject day is supposed to be a day where you go crazy and wild. so what's wrong with a little fun in the lab? i don't understand why they have to be so stupid. it was just stationary jumping up and down in the lab. STATIONARY. besides it was more like hopping.

why bother making an ant a dinosaur? it is just a chance for them to ridicule each other? wow. i didn't know teachers were so childish.

anyway, a big thank you to the awesome classmates that i have. thanks weiyi, weeliang and marc. but stupid gay shit hates me so it doesn't matter :D

2010-01-18T21:45:00.002+08:00

of all timings, why today. why did i want to scroll through my msges today? that was almost exactly one year ago so why do i still feel so confused now? did i do the right thing then? i feel super guilty for ignoring you. but you had a part to play too. haish. i kind of wish i could turn back time. but even so, i think that i might have done the same thing :C okay that doesn't make sense anymore.

anyway. WTH am i doing here? i have like chem periodic table test and econs pbl presentation tmr. i'm still deciding if i should go for pe tmr.

on a brighter note,

after tmr, i WILL be free-er

luckily i don't have ogl stuff if not i will be more pek-chek.

after this week, NO MORE SAT!!!!! :D

i hate my weekends ):

2010-01-06T00:51:00.002+08:00

ITALY WAS AWESOME and this is my favourite picture :D

haha it was unbelievable that i mangaged to capture this shot.

this was not meant to be a shopping trip, but i spent (according to my mom) close to S$600!

but the stuff there are really nice. i still think that i didn't buy much.

for myself:

a coat

wallet

shoes

bag

jelly soap!!!!!

organiser

for friends:

soap

chocolates

organiser

tiffany's present

i think that's all. okay this shows that europe stuff are really expenseive

but it was fun :D and i miss the weather in singapore

my lips are cracking like mad ):

2009-12-03T23:12:00.002+08:00

haha i just came back from a 10km walk that nearly killed my dog. haha we walked from my house to amk library and back. thanks to barker, we couldn't take the bus :D when he reached back home, the first thing he did was to go inside the bathroom to wash legs and drink water. here's the funny part: after he walk out, he nearly trip and fall!!

today's outing was quite okay despite it being super unplanned! :D yay to drina! (: haha egoness sets in. i want to go to the zoo!!!

moving out ):

2009-11-25T20:49:00.006+08:00

st nicks has officially moved to the holding site. however, when i went there, i totally had no feeling there. and if you were to make me picture st nicks, i still see the new specs stand, old specs stand and the control room there. well i suppose that was the first impression i have of st nicks and it will kind of remain there. the control room there is SUPER SMALL. and i thought that the original one at the hall is pathetic enough. not only is the control room there small, there's like no ventilation. there's only one small window in which when you look out, you see a red patch (curtain). haha how pathetic right? okay enough about the school

outing was fun :D and i shouldn't have experimented with the nail polish there. my finger or rather my thumb hurts now. hope that it doesn't get swollen ):

i don't know why, but i suddenly realise that i no longer trust guys. i guess it's because of that damn person. i hate him. i trusted him and then he made me feel like i didn't matter. what the fuck is wrong with him? or rather wtf is wrong with me. i thought i had gotten over it. but it look like i haven't. i get nightmares about him and i don't see why i deserve this. screw you guys.

loooooong walk :D

2009-11-09T22:32:00.003+08:00

i should totally keep track of the places that i walk to.

today we walked from home to AMK. haha wait let me go check the distance. IT'S 4.5 KM :D hahaha okay actually it's not that far, but i had PT before that. (:

some days ago, we walked to hougang point. distance: 3.53 (: actually that's quite short.
wait it's not! we walked to and fro! so it's 3.53 times 2! which is 7km!!!

no wonder my legs are aching :D haha but nevermind. i'm cool (: i shall walk around singapore

my next destination: from my drop-off bus stop(mosque) to home (: it's only 3.8 something.
so i will be able to run all the way back (: go drina! suddenly i'm feeling motivated.

the day i die is the best day of my life

2009-11-04T22:31:00.002+08:00

i think i'm a pathetic piece of shit that cannot do anything well. oh wait. i am one. there's like this super heavy stone in me, weighing me down. arrrg. i don't know lah. i think the song lyrics "the day i die is the best day of my life" fits me best.

been thinking about too many stuff. like how my friend's mother just 3 days after finding out that she has lung cancer died. then i thought about my grandpa and aunt. and i've no idea which is better. live a little longer and have some more time with your loved ones or just die. by living longer, you suffer a lot more.

START LOOKING AT YOUR LIFE PLAN DRINA!

dreams

2009-10-25T22:57:00.003+08:00

i don't know why, but i suddenly dreamt of chang as in yihsin chang not gay shit chang. i think the dream made me realise how much i would miss her if she were gone. she was the closest friend i've ever had, and i would be sad if she were to leave. i dreamt that she would be gone mid of next year. if that dream were to be reality, i think that it would be freaky and no i don't want it to happen. chang i know you will never read this, but i want you to know that you are the greatest friend that i've ever known and if you were to fly to america and not come back, i think i would be in a daze. of course life would go on, like it always has, but there would always be a missing part of me. i miss the times we had wrestling, playing as well as studying. arrg. i know we haven't talked for a long time! but that's alright we are busy people (: even though you will definately be going overseas and probably not be coming back, distance can't do us apart right? we can always talk yea? hope we meet up soon

i've been having this horrible headache that refuses to go away. i don't know why. stupid headache! GO AWAY! i know it's because i keep staring at stupid computer screens. blame it on the stupid education system and the damn emphasis on project work.

i want to go to a overseas university. but i can't. I NEED A SCHOLARSHIP!!! i can't stand this pressure cooker that i'm in. every damn thing is important and cramped into our tiny brains. why can't they shift the emphasis away from route learning? why not the emphasis on experimental learning? give me a break.

going bonkers

2009-10-14T02:14:00.002+08:00

i'm just done with pw. and look at the time! oh! it's 2.15am! and the scary part? 3 other classmates of mine are still online!

i don't want to wake up tomorrow. let the time just stand still. tomorrow's physics. and i have a feeling that i won't do well. just look at my math. it's a freaking fail! i know that according to the school, that is a pass, but 100 divided by 2 equals to 50, not 45 ): so i fail. this is the worst i've ever done. )): the first half of the day was horrible. within the first period, i got back math. which sucked.

later, there was chem. a paper that i studied VERY hard for and guess what i got? i freaking D. with a 3 marks improvement from midyears. THAT'S ENCOURAGING.

the only paper that i think i did well was GP. i did beyond what i expected. i EXCEEDED EXPECTATIONS (: or maybe they just marked leniently.

oh and guess what's the trend i found? first i got a E, then a D and finally a C. hahaha hopefully tmr or rather today will be a good day (:

2009-10-11T23:30:00.002+08:00

life after promos is like after Os. you suddenly feel free. but there's like something missing in your life. i guess i'm weird. i kind of miss being kan-chiong as tiffany will put it, i miss the kind of satisfaction i get when i get something right (:

thinking back on this year, i think i have yet to find out what i really want. vj was my dream school, yes i got in. i know i would be the happiest here. i joined tennis, thinking that it was what i wanted too. but soon, i realise that this is not what i really want. being in a school tennis team was my dream. maybe because all the people in the tennis class that i was in were in a school team and that seemed fun! and the tennis team that i was in was filled with fun and nice people. but look at the team that i'm in now. sure they are wonderful players, good at the game and all. but we are not bonded. it kind of changed my preception of tennis. i used to miss training, and can't wait for the next training to start, even though it meant waiting an entire week. now i'm dreading it! just the thought of talking to the rest of them seemed difficult. i'm not close to them at all. maybe after next year's season, it will be better. just like what happened this year. but wait what's the use. the people that i became really close to, we just seem to drift apart. look at the j2s now. i'm not close to them at all now! and i thought that we had some really great times together. i miss being in pa. i miss the feeling of togetherness. all i want is for the cca to be bonded. and i think that i do not deserve the posts of secretary and treasurer at all.

oh man i sound like a tiffany!
(take heed of my own advice and STOP BROODING!)

tmr's some stupid relationship workshop. i bet it's really useless.

OH THIS GOES OUT TO ALL MY JUNIORS (AND YOU COUSIN :D) on behalf of the yellow badges

Os are coming soon! time to start revising real hard! it doesn't matter what you get for prelims. take it as a lesson learnt and look forward. yes! you guys can do it! keep your goal in mind in front of you and STRIVE FOR IT! you always have the entire pa behind you (: we will be there to catch you if you fall (:

4 DAYS TO PROMOS!!

2009-09-21T19:44:00.002+08:00

arrrg! 4 days to promos!! and what am i doing here? woops i think today don't need to sleep already ):

today's pw was okay. somewhat more productive than i thought it would be. i hope with the new ideas, it won't be as screwed as it was previously. i don't want to be the worst in class. ): cheryl aren't you just glad that you are away from all these? i want to be away too! i want to go to america to study!!! but i don't think i can. money's a problem. i need scholarship. but with my current grades, i think no company/university would want me. damn and what i am i doing here??? on the bright side of pw, the class was great. thank you s43 for all the help you have given us. esp kelly for telling me that it will be alright (: i think i know why all our written reports are so messy. just look at this paragragh! it has so many things in it! and there's like no link! what i want to type, i just type and i don't care if it makes sense

on the brighter side of life, there's people more emo, more stress than me, BRYAN!!! cheer up dude. you silly little fellow. stop thinking so much. you friends are here for you:D they are not gone.

BACK TO STUPID CHEM. i'm gonna score real well and show stupid chang that i don't need his help to take H3. i'm going to take H3 chem so that i will have a better chem teacher (: yay! stupid/stingy (did i mention that he only donated $2?)/ retarded/gay chang.

a little trip back to heaven

2009-09-01T00:41:00.002+08:00

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!

but i think i'm a little late. but it's the thought that counts right (: i think my class is consistent in not getting the teachers anything for teachers day. haha but in the morning while we were having breakfast with chang (see how i didn't make his name sound worse since it's his day), teachers walked past with gifts in their hands and poor chang didn't get anything. haha but that was kind of awkward. breakfast was good AND cheap :D

after that the cab back to st nicks was fantastic! it's been such a long time since i talked to bryan!!! luckily the trip after st andrews wasn't that far and i didn't have to pay alot more (:

meeting up with the girls is something i won't regret(: it was such fun cam-whoring and crashing into dawn lim's and mdm suah's class :D haha they are such nice teachers! unlike the ones i have currently.

BRYAN ANG! go tmr alright? it's been a long long time since you last came (:

end of spa!!! for this year at least

2009-08-27T21:31:00.000+08:00

today marks the end of SPA (for this year) and the start of my mugging days.
kind of a sad life huh. and to think that not so long ago, i just finished studying for midyears. i'm down to 30 days to promos. come on drina. don't give up now.

i don't understand why is it that my class gets the most 'wonderful' teachers.
first we have chang. oh wonderful chang, magical chang. his lessons are so INTERSTING. oh and did i mention that he has this weird idea that if he were to write really really small on the board, i would move up front? haha that was a really stupid idea. because four of us were sitting behind, kelly, me, weiyi, weeliang. haha then he started writing really small words on the board and someone in front asked him to write bigger, and all he said was 'cannot see right? move in front'. haha and the person just ignored him. haha but sitting behind is good. i pay more attention then ever during class, i do my tutorials, and most importantly, i understand!!! (not everything though)

moving on, we have singh. SCOTLAND SINGH. let me think, can i name one good thing about him? oh yes. he has a wonderful accent, so good that i have to strain my ears trying to listen to him. we don't understand him, oh wait, it's not his fault. it's our fault for not doing tutorials. quote from hod "you can't depend on the teacher. you have to read and when you don't understand then you ask the teacher." oh yes. i think i get it now. i don't understand what i reading, i ask the teacher, and i still don't understand. so i start doing tutorials? and write a whole lot of crap out that is rubbish yet the ENCOURAGING teacher thinks that it's correct? yes that's such a good way to improve. i TOTALLY agree with that

finally we have SHAKY HANDS YUEN. he's so nervous around us that he shivers (from the cold?) his explanations for the questions are so good that i think that some people in class can do a better job than him. even when we went up to him to tell him that we want him to change and be comfortable around us, he's nervous!!! wth, yuen, we won't eat you up.

why why do we get these teachers?
i don't see how i'm going to get better grades for promos.
good luck to you drina
i'm afraid you will do just as badly or even worse FAIL!!!

arrrrgggg. DRINA TEO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!! GO BACK TO STUDYING!!!!

post sentosa and the pile of homework waiting for me

2009-08-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

Sentosa was AWESOME! time spent with the greatest people in vjc! i just realised taht i spent almost my whole time there out of the hotel room. haha kind of ironic huh.

lesson learnt:
1. never ever bet with weiyi for black jack. (i keep losing)
2. block out someone's whining.
3. i really really can't dance (: hahahahaha thought that i knew that long ago.
4. never never ever attempt to dunk marc, you will die before you manage to dunk him

but it was a hell lot of fun out there and i hope that cheryl enjoyed herself (:

and now little stressed kid is here to rant!

piano exam!!! in a few days time! wth. i'm NOT PREPARED!!! i don't want to fail!!!!
econs critique. it's due in two days time! arrrg.
eom: i think that my 2nd draft will get rejected too
PROMOS! i don't even want to think about it. it's in a freaking 45 days!!!

and i really really should start coming home earlier. so far the earliest i have reached home is like 6? hahaha it isn't really early.
i think it still hasn't dawn on me that cheryl is leaving. like leaving for good!

oh and did i mention that bowling today was good? i had not one but two strikes in a row :D haha and we beat the hot brothers (: haha another achievement.

finally!

2009-07-10T23:35:00.002+08:00

so exams are over. but so what we live in this vicious cycle of competition. after o levels, mid years, after midyear, promos, after promos, ct1 and ct 2 THEN A LEVELS all over again. come to think of it, our education system doesn't really allow us to make mistakes huh. if you fail promos, either you retain, okay that's allowing you to make mistakes, or you transfer. if you fail a levels, then YOU ARE ALL ON YOUR OWN! no where to go, you have to take the a levels all on your own AGAIN! oh and if you don't, then you will become a failure in life, no good job to take up, people look down on you. talk about going to a university, it seems so distant just a year ago! and now boom! time flies. half a year has past. and in a year and a half, my fate will be decided.

oh no. i really need to rewind time. let me go back to secondary school. give me more time to be a child again. i want more time to have fun, then push me back to the present where i would not regret not playing enough in my younger years.

oh and did i mention how screwed up my midyears were? the paper that i really studied super hard for, physics, is screwed beyond screwed (as kelly would put it) the questions were undo-able. math, i left 20 marks of questions blank. econs, and gp were crapped out answers. and don't even start on chem.

79 more days to promos. hahaha that doesn't sound like alot
so i guess my hiatus wasn't worth it.

I LOVE VJC :D

2009-06-24T16:53:00.003+08:00

YES I'M TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH VJC AND ALL THE ADMIN STAFF (:
AND I THINK THAT THE WHOLE SCHOOL LOVES THEM
with the exception of dylan, because he does not get to skip midyears

haha thanks to the extension of midyears, i have ONE MORE WEEK TO CATCH UP :D
if only they closed school ): oh well, at least there's one more week :D

okay back to mugging

oh and did i mention that yesterday's ice-cream chef's was wonderful?
chocolate and cookies and cream and BROWNIES!
THANKS MR LUA

i'm sure not musically inclined.

2009-06-16T22:15:00.002+08:00

happy things first :D

weiyi's birthday! we sure had fun dunking him into the koi pond (or rather he jumped in by himself), soaping his hair and carrying him to the koi pond. haha he's such fun to be around. after that we went marina AGAIN. and donut ice-cream at yoshinoya was awesome! just that i won't pay 1.80 for it (:

congrats to 09s43, namely the 'hot brothers' group and clara's group for winning first and runner's up for the econs project :D haha and the 'hot brother's production' is super funny (: sorry for the slip shot work on my part though. i just couldn't put my mind into doing the project. kind of got distracted every single time i tried to concentrate on it.

now unhappy things:

piano lesson now has become a chore. every time i step into my teacher's house, i get nervous, don't feel like playing and i wonder what the hell am i doing there. i don't hate playing the piano. in fact i like playing things that are not exam oriented. okay look. i really did try my best to practice. i told myself that i would put in my best for the week, practice EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH THE TICKING THING just like you told me so. and i thought that i improved and was quite happy with it.

but during the lesson, you just had to burst my confidence bubble. i'm sorry that i can't hear what i'm playing. normally, i don't even know what notes i'm playing. i'm just playing what my eyes read and what my hands want to press. in my mind, those are the correct notes. a semi-tone apart, what the diff. i really can't hear it. you just keep picking on my mistakes. why not try to make me play without the metronome and don't ask me to do that after picking out all my mistakes. OBVIOUSLY i would be extremely nervous and will breakdown continously. i really don't know how to improve anymore. i really did the best that i could in that week. put my heart into practicing and you tell me that it is no different from the previous week which was sucky. ouch that really hurt. maybe i should just stop. after all, the way that you put it, no one can help me. i know i suck. yes shout it at me. i'm a DISGUSTINGLY HORRIBLE HOPELESS PIANO STUDENT.

taekwondo today was not much better. just because i came late doesn't mean that you have to punish me. i came here to help wong sir teach. not you. and you think that you are great? NO. that's a super big N-O for you information. you can't even teach black tape pattern properly and you say that we are a bunch of lousy black belts. what about looking at yourself. go memorize the korean names for all the patterns. obviously you got it all wrong. yok is 6 NOT 7!! see i know it better than you do. it's not our fault that the student's don't listen to us. we have no authority over them. we are NOT allowed to punish them. so they will climb all over our heads. what i want from them is respect me when they are supposed to. and i'm sure at least 50% of them do that. i'm not authoritarian like you. i reason with them. if they don't want to listen to me, i will just ignore them. that's what wong sir told me to do. so what have you got to say for yourself? huh arrogant guy? and YES, we will come down for grading. see how much help you need. there are already so many of you guys there. we will just be stoning at one corner. oh well. that's your fault. you asked us to come down.

crashing chang's wedding!

2009-06-01T00:45:00.002+08:00

luckily i decided to go and crash chang's wedding(: it was super fun!

his bride was okay looking. haha though i expected someone more chin-na to be his wife.

when we first went there, there were only 5 of us: weiyi, cheryl, kelly, yukun, dylan and me. we actually went all the way up to the ballroom and shake chang's hand! haha i can't believe i shaked chang's hand! while we were on the escalator up, even before we saw chang, he already spotted us and according to weiyi, he gave a super super shocked expression. after that he actually invited us to take a seat inside but we kindly declined his offer coz it's kind of bad to crash his wedding and some of us were not properly dressed.

and we had macs. oh it's an 09s43 thing to eat macs. i have no idea why, but we always end up eating at fast food outlets. haha but that's okay (: at least it's cheap (: i camhored a lot!!! it must be thanks to kelly! bad bad influence! haha weiyi is also another cam-whorer! and i thought that it's a girl's thing!

after meeting up with the rest of the 1/3 class, namely gavin, anissa, khairiah and suzanna, we went toys r us and camhored a whole lot more! i think we spent over an hour inside camhoring! haha. actually we wanted to buy a gift for him from toys r us, but we couldn't find anything. so yukun being 18 tmr, or rather today, went into 7-eleven and bought a bottle of wine for him (:

after camhoring a whole lot more at hilton hotel, we finally made our way back home

i shall upload the pictures when they finally post it on facebook (:

I NEED TO MUG!

2009-05-28T19:58:00.002+08:00

finally the end of competition season. grats to natt for playing such a wonderful game (: though we did not win, we played well and did our best! :D i think getting into the team was the best part of being in tennis. i became really close to the j2s and i will be sad when they leave. i hope i get into the team next year though! :D excited for next year's comp!

this is kind of weird coming from me. but i desperately need to mug. i'm like behind in every single thing!

today's cca was funny! haha caroline is SO innocent! and to the rest of you, tsk tsk! what dirty minds you have! haha i hope i didn't get you guys into trouble with mable li (: haha i know we made a lot of noise. but that shows that we are bonded right? *self answer: yes! of course we are bonded! CAROLINE! PLAN OUTING! (: PEOPLE BUG HER TO DO SO! (: HAHA let's have a proper outing and not a janeal and drina date (:

miss you guys lots.

tired

2009-05-18T00:12:00.002+08:00

oh man. i haven't slept for 7 hours or more for the past few days and tonight (rather this morning) if i can catch 4 hours of sleep, it would be heavenly. just shows how sleep deprived i am. haha i really shouldn't be doing this now. i should be doing my gpp (group project proposal). but everyone has to take a break right? so here i am now :D

today's slv dry run was okay (: let's hope that we don't disappoint the kids next week (: i shall try to be enthusiatic and high on that day. dinner with the class was funny. suzanna's account on the game "second life" was hilarious. after that was project work again. i think my whole life is revolving around project work for the past week. the whole of saturday night was spent at jinmeng's house till 1am. i reached home at 2am and the whole of sunday was burnt as well. i have yet to complete all my homework. there's physics tutorial, econs tutorial and chem practicalS!!!!

okay i shall get back to project work

angry/depressed/sad/hopeful

2009-05-15T21:23:00.002+08:00

today was supposed to be the day where vj win acjc. the score's not out yet, but our line-up is freaking screwed up. eunice against a super strong player. the score for vj is 2 up, but the doubles and the third singles have only a 50% chance of winning. okay i really don't want to think about it now. just thinking about it makes me feel scared. i really want vj to get into the finals. it's not just about the medals. it's about bringing glory and it's kind of our job to at least get 2nd. after all, last year, vj was champs.

my pw's screwed as well. no one has time to do anything. i don't have the brains to think up every single thing for the gpp, neither do i have the time to do so.

my life's freaking screwed.

2009-04-30T22:28:00.002+08:00

i've got a disgusting and gay civics tutor! what the hell
i was just having my fun, trying to throw my bottle into the dustbin and he come and scold me. of course i would ignore his first comment coz there was a power trip, he was not teaching and i was bored in class. moreover, he walked out of class to make a phone call. well when he came in, he told me to stop it least he throw me out of class. any one in the right frame of mind would get angry. wth i didn't even do anything to anyone. wasn't disturbing his damn lesson (not that i even understand what he is talking about). wasn't even doing anything and he come and scold me. so i shouted back
me: but you are not even doing anything
ct: your classmates are GOING to present slv thing to you
me: the word is GOING not currently. so right now, there's nothing to do.
ct: STOP BEING RUDE TO ME. I WANT TO SLAP YOU!
me: rolls eyes.
ct: I WILL COMPLAIN TO YOUR PARENTS! TELL YOU MOM TO CALL ME TMR. WAIT NOT TMR. ON MONDAY (ps. he only works FIVE days a week)
me: continues to roll my eyes.

wtf. the worst thing was when he called my mom, he told her a whole pack of lies. say that i disrupted his lesson. that he cannot continue. wth. wth. i want to kill him! he threatened to expel me (said that to my mom though)

i hate him!!! what the shit.

2009-04-29T18:57:00.002+08:00

vj played against aj today. i was playing 2nd doubles. i would have liked to say that i did a good job. however, i cannot. i made so many mistakes, especially double faults. i gave away 2 whole games just because of it! wth. i know the opponents were strong, they were good at net plays. but i could have done a better job. i hope coach still allows me to play after this failure. i want to do better and i hope i will be able to do it.

my pw group kind of suck. and i hope none of them are going to read this. ian's a jerk, who doesn't do anything. jinmeng's stuck in self-delusion, weeliang's too busy with basketball (okay that's not his fault) suzanna's fine and i'm happy to have her in the same group. well i got to admit that i'm not really a good member after all. i'm busy with tennis, especially when it's in the middle of season. but nevermind i hope that i will have the strength to pull through with my group mates.

i don't know if you will see this, but janeal, thanks for last night laughter. i was kind of feeling down. thanks for making me laugh all over again. i can't wait to see you again! make it to vj okay? jia yous with your work :D though it may be hard and tiring, be strong and pull through! i love you!!! :D haha

vj vs cj :D

2009-04-21T19:53:00.002+08:00

first congrats to tennis team :D we put up a good fight and emerged victorious, with a winning of 4-1 (: even the doubles pair that lost, it was a good game, the best you guys have ever played! good job (:
i can't believe that cj's tennis doubles that played against rachel and huimin, actually cried when the score was 6-0. you mean that you think that you are very good? i'm sure that there are better players than you. and there you are you just met them. i really feel that if they do not have the mental strenght to pull through and fight back, then they are not strong players at all. and vic's opponent was a freaking cheater. she tried to call balls that were on the line out. haha and nut, did a good job in telling her off.

oh and xinyi, you really did grow fatter (: haha!!! (that is if you ever read this) but i miss you lots! have fun at CJ (:

after the match we eat mudpie at island creamry. it was heavenly :D the nicest mudpie i've ever eaten! but i think the person at the shop is biased. he/she gave me and nut the smallest piece there!

PI is stupid it's irritating me to the core! i can't stand it! it's freaking hard to make it into 500 words! and stupid chang. "i only work 5 days a week. you know 5 day work week?"

I'M IN THE TENNIS TEAM!

2009-04-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT INTO THE TEAM! YAY I GET TO GET THE COOL COMPETITION ATTIRE, GET TO REPRESENT THE SCHOOL AND AND MOST OF ALL, I FEEL ACCOMPLISHED! (: TODAY'S MY HAPPIEST DAY YET (: thanks to all those who wished me good luck. and minu, i really didn't think i would get in and when i told my mom she said she didn't think that i would get into. so see! it was surprising! but seeing edna so disappointed was really heart-breaking. i could actually feel for her, coz that person could actually have been me. oh man.

competition season is starting in a about a week's time and boy am i excited! though there's still a chance that i maybe the thirteenth player, i still excited. i'm going to maintain healthy throughout the season and keep fit! comp season is going to be really tiring for me and i hope i will have the determination to pull through, keep up with all my school work, do all my homework and score well!

talking about scoring well, i really hate this year's PW topics! WTH emergency and conservation! what kind of topic is that?! it's freaking difficult and i'm stuck at the feasibility.

and chem's not much better. and the teacher doesn't help at all! what the hell he can spend more than half an hour on ONE MCQ QUESTION and when he realises that he does not have much time left, he rushes through the rest of the worksheet in one hour. not only that, the encroaches into our pw lessons for his chem as he claims that there is not enough time to finish the syllabus and that he is missing out on a lot of curriculum time and therefore needs make-up lessons! ask him go eat shit lah! moreover he can't teach! he either talks to himself or the board. okay i know i have been rude to him at least for a few times, where i say "whatever, lah i don't care" and " oh i'm so scared" when he threatens to move me away and isolate me coz i was talking. mind you okay i wasn't the only one in the class talking. like what the shit. i don't know where your eyes grow on. and your wife/fiancee must be one blind person! not only is he stupid and cannot teach, he is freaking rigid. he refuses to send us the chem ans (we are only asking for it, coz we can't understand him and he goes like a bullet train) and he says that it has never been vj's tradition to print ans. like what the hell tradition is for old fashioned and stupid people like you to follow. i hope you kick the bucket soon. get on the bucket list you freak.

2009-03-23T22:14:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF (:

thanks everyone for the great day! especially my classmates! thanks for the card and the cake! (and singing the birthday song more than once). i think the cake was the best cheese cake i've ever eaten! oh and the card, haha thanks anissa for drawing buttercup all over it (: haha all the powerpuff girls look the same, just that they are different in colour (:

thanks teoliang for making the super super nice cross-stitch! i will never have the patience to do that! even my mom says that it's super nice!!!

i LOVE 09S43 (: (: (:

end of school term (:

2009-03-12T20:52:00.002+08:00

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!! WOO HOO! HAHA I 'M SUPER SUPER HIGH TODAY!

i had laughing fits with anissa and yukun. and it's all yukun's fault! she started it! (: haha and we couldn't stop laughing throughout the whole of the break and the first part of math lecture. that is until the lecturer said "can you stop laughing". oh well.

a term has gone and past. so many lessons have passed by and i'm still lagging behind. i still can't understand some parts of differentiation (esp limits coz i slept through that lecture) and i don't know what to say for chemistry. chang is making me not like chem anymore!

2hours of chem is killing. my brain cells were all dead by the time he reached the end of one hour. and he was like rushing through every single question. with his weird gestures. the class was laughing at him more than paying attention in his class! haha and the fact that some people in class were playing with the bluetooth did not help at all. but it was super entertaining. they tried to send him items, and changed their bluetooth name to chan poh meng (principal) and some other people. haha nearing the end of the lesson, they changed it to "time to go home" or something along that line. initially, he thought that it was a virus, but i bet he realised that it wasn't after sometime. but it was hilarious!

what a wonderful class (:

x-country

2009-02-28T13:13:00.002+08:00

pretty disappointed with myself. i actually thought that i would be mentally stronger yesterday, at least strong enough to complete the x-country without slowing down. but i didn't. at the bridge, i slowed down too much. while i was going up the bridge, so many people overtook me. and i didn't even bother to overtake them. damn i wanted to be in top hundred. but i ended in top 150. i knew if i really wanted that position that badly, i would have been able to push myself. but the fact is that i didn't.

anyway, i had fun yesterday(: after x-country. cam-whored abit then there was the BORING prize presentation and then MASS DANCE!!! (: haha i know i wasn't' a very big fan of dancing previously, but believe me, mass dance is FUN (: i got really high and Anissa did everything with exaggerated moves, making me laugh non-stop. though i still can't dance the friendship dance and the fact that i was the guy didn't help a single bit. coz i was too SHORT. every time the girl (khairiah) twirled, i had to stand on my toes! haha but it was hilarious (: i also cannot do "i want you" except for the chorus (:

HBL on thur was a total waste of time. it was retarded and it failed terribly. for a fact, i could not understand a single word of it and the teacher's voice was so muffled. chem and PW was fun (at least for the first 1hr or until chang started kicking people out of the room) we posed as the teacher and batman, joker and we were reciting vj cheer! Mr chang's face became redder and redder and he was panting. haha he must have been super angry! apparently, people were playing tic-tac toe too (: haha i left halfway, coz i couldn't understand what he was saying.

class outing was super fun! and i think the 4th story of 4bia was SCARY! haha there's a limit to my tolerance level. and i still think that the man who ate the ice-cream with the blood splattered on it was funny. the game "i never was also fun. DYLAN RAISED HIS HAND FOR EVERY SINGLE THING! and i think i'm the next one who raised the hand the most times (: not my fault that i got into a couple of fights, er scolded a teacher, totally lost it in front of a teacher etc.

i'm starting to love 09S43 (:

I LOVE MY NEW PHONE (:

2009-02-22T22:01:00.002+08:00

I GOT MY NEW PHONE TODAY (: haha i tell you the weirdest thing is that getting this phone took ALOT of trouble! first we went j8. then they say that they only have the red one, the black one is out of stock. so we went thomson plaza. but they don't even have the model and all of them tried to persuade me not to buy it! so we went back j8 to get the red one. BUT then when i reached there, the guy there, or rather daryl, requested for daren's student card. but my wonderful brother lost it. so he asked for bc. but we didn't bring it out. so my dad said before tkd, go amk there to get. and when we went there, amk doesn't carry the phone model at all. so we went back to j8. haha finally got the phone (: it's 5 MEGAPIXEL!!!

i think the most amazing part of the whole process is that through it, i actually met up with my primary school friend! and he was the one serving me. and though i thought it was him at first, i didn't dare to ask if it was him, coz the last time that happened, i actually saw the person wrongly. but he also thought he knew me. but in actual fact, we don't know each other and i didn't want that to happen again. so i didn't ask him. it was only when i went back and read daryl's blog that i found that he was working at singtel (bishan) then i realised that i was right (: amazing right!

dreading another week of school...

2009-02-21T23:37:00.002+08:00

i am so pissed that i got booked for the dumbest thing ever -- i forgot to bring my tie on tie day (Friday) it was super retarded. i mean who ever remembers to bring a tie on JUST one day in a week. and it's the last day of the week!

went wenman's house today and gossiped (: horny girl genin is super sick! her sick jokes are gross! but they are funny (: bitched about people and laughed non-stop. Lena brought ponyo to watch. thank god i didn't go to the cinema to watch it coz i thought it was super dumb. AND GRACE BECAME MORE BIMBOTIC AFTER JOINING NJ DANCE! grace: i suggest you quit dance (: and join your scholars thingy (: maybe that will make you more intellectual!

i feel like a pig! i ate macs twice today! and it was in succession! ate it for dinner near wenman's house and another time when min was eating ice-cream! but we had free mac wings and a mac-chicken! haha somehow they got the order wrongly!

aww i miss the girls!

nostalgia

2009-02-14T23:58:00.003+08:00

i just realised that this is the 107th post! haha didn't realise that i had posted so much!

4L's making me nostalgic! didn't realise that we miss each other so much! man's not happy at her school and I MISS 4L! finally having another class gathering or rather clique gathering. which is on satuday at wm's house! i'm so excited!!! and someone actually asked a random question on msn : do ahbengs smoke or are smokers ahbengs -.- haha totally no link!

i guess i didn't regret going to OG bbq on fri. though i came home tired, and dirty. i SURE HAD FUN LEAVING MY HAND PRINT OF BRYAN ANG'S SHIRT! haha sorry i really thought that you wiped your hand on my blouse (:

yihsin is so retarded (: she didn't go to school just cause she had MUSCLE ACHE! haha and couldn't lift her hand up!

there's so much to catch up during the march holidays! there wenman and yishin and our guitar hero! our swilim club (: AND NOT FORGETTING MY BELOVED LP MATES!!!

aww i'm starting to miss secondary school life!

i really should start on my chem

2009-02-07T11:27:00.002+08:00

subject combi results came out yesterday AND there's no one i know in my ct class! teoliang went into s56, while i got into s43. and my classroom's at the third floor! it means another two years of climbing up and down staircases.

mass dance yesterday was partly retarded. there was quite a lot of waiting time and secondary schools went around shouting school cheers and running around the fountain of wealth. though i still think i don't know how to dance majority of the mass dance. but i can sort of remember tribal and whinney whinney (: haha achievement! cause after 4 years in st nicks, i still don't really know how to do the family dance!

sea carnival was FUN! haha got super wet and and sticky! but it was fun (: we kicked sand and water at each other, threw pine cones at each other.

2009-02-05T21:59:00.002+08:00

wet games was suprisingly fun today(: and i have and unfounded talent in the game of scissors, paper, stone. haha i won many times in a row (didn't count) and nearly won the game for the group twice (: but it ended up as a draw and we played a tie-breaker which was to see which OG could finish a whole 1.5 l water bottle in the fastest time. haha thanks to waffie, we won (:

i got super super soapy and sticky at the end of it, but nonetheless had lots and lots of fun. like at the shampoo station, we were supposed to see which OG can collect the most soap foam from the hair, by shampooing the hair and all the girls had to wash the hair coz "no matter how short the girl's hair is, it can't be shorter than a guy's hair". and with the lousy shampoo that they gave us, i couldn't seem to wash away the soap and it felt sticky. and soap went into my eye half way through the game and caused my eye to turn red for a moment. oh and waffie, he went to try to blow the foam into the bottle and by doing that he created a FOAM BEARD (: haha making us burst out into uncontrolled laughter (:

there was this other DISGUSTING GAME. it was the game of water transportation where we had to transport water from the pail to a bottle. the opening of the bottle is already very small and they made the game even harder by cutting holes in the bottle! such that someone had to whole the bottle, and try to cover the hole. guys used their shirts to try and transport the water, but the girls had to use their mouths! i was the suay one holding the bottle and people aiming not very good and their saliva went all over my hands! ewwww!!! haha at the end of the game, i concluded that the person with the biggest mouth is waffie, as he somehow can hold much more water in his mouth as compared to others!

oh and found inez super remarkable. and she was a GREAT OGL! (: she had a fever and she still came for wet games! (:

reydar was the loser last. but i think the worst is thor. thor was actually leading! and they became 2nd last! at least we were 2nd last to start with (:

JCO

2009-02-03T21:52:00.004+08:00

day one of orientation was DEAD! but day two was fine (: people getting more hyped up and more enthu. though i got to admit that my OG is one of the worst OG, coz everyone's not really paticipating and are too shy or something and we are the 2nd last OG!!! :/

but at least my subog's more talking more now (: and the ogl are super nice. i figured out who's the IP2 og. but she looks super mature! i think she looks even more mature than the j2s.

og dinner's on friday (: but it's jts(junior treat senior) damn!

mass dance at suntec on friday too i think i will be going

i hope i get H3 chem research (:

2009-02-01T16:39:00.002+08:00

my stupid flu got worse! and i'm like coughing very often. hope it gets better by tmr i don't want to be sick on the first day of school!
i hope orientation's going to be fun (:
at the same time i'm dreading school got to used to slacking (:

posting

2009-01-30T08:46:00.007+08:00

I GOT INTO VJ!

well that's the most important thing for today. i am really happy (: and I'M NOT ALONE! haha there's teoliang (yay! 10 years in the same school!!!) and genin, and shannen and some other people that genin is too lazy to tell me! haha the biggest irony of the day: before Os, genin said that, "i will never get into vj!" and today, she's posted there and SHE'S NOT GOING TO APPEAL!

class outing last night was a blast! we had steamboat at bugis. i DEFINETELY DIDN'T EAT $17 WORTH OF VEGETABLES, cause that was about all i ate last night. the enoki mushroom and the xiao bai cai was super nice! the beef was also very sweet. but i couldn't find much beef in the soup. laughed a lot throughout the dinner. we were sitting at the road side. rather dusty and noisy, but we still enjoyed ourselves. grace and meichi heard some squeaking in the bushes behind them and they were so afraid! and all i did was keep laughing at them.

looks like 4loyalty 08 will be rather bonded even though we will be going to different schools (: we are having another meet up after the first day of school (:

the wonderful 4Loyalty (:

emo table (:

2009-01-28T21:51:00.003+08:00

boo! and i think i haven't been blogging for a rather looooong time (:

damn seeing the boo reminds me of yihsin and the possibility of being in a separate school. posting results are going to be out and i'm not too sure if i will really be happy with the school that i get. i've always wanted to get into vj. and that was actually my aim when i was studying. but now i'm not sure if i really want to go there, cause i will be ALONE! most of my classmates did not even put it as one of their choices. i will really miss yihisn and all my friends. yihsin was really really close to me and though i said before that 'there's no such thing as best friends', i think that i sort of treat her as one. she was my confidante, my 'playmate' and we share so many things in common. i really can't imagine going to different schools. but if i really get into nj, i'm not sure if i will like the school too. from what monster emily told me, the school's a mugging school, which does not really appeal to me, but if it means being in the same school as my wonderful friends, why not? however, the other drawback is that their tennis teams sucks, as compared to vj's great team. sigh. i really shouldn't think about that now.

went for japanese class again. it was super funny. before the lesson, some people were frantically doing up homework and asking around. and apparently, the class didn't manage to understand what the teacher was trying to say the last lesson as everyone did different questions. the best was this boy. he was like "got homework last week ar?" and the aunty in front of him said "wow that one best!".

minyi finally saw janeal today. and she called me just to tell me that! haha JANEAL FACE IT: YOU ARE ONE WEIRD KID (: haha always laughing manically. but that's a good thing (: according to what i heard on the radio, it says that laughing for one hour makes you lose weight and i read somewhere (again) that laughing increases your life expectancy (:

no school for st nicks tmr, which means that i won't be going back to cca before my school starts. woops. i know i was supposed to go but too bad. your loss (: aww don't be sad janeal. (:

2009-01-23T15:17:00.002+08:00

i swear never ever to take dark looking staircases ever again. cause the last time i went down this 'dark looking' staircase, after my jap class, (and yes drina teo takes jap classes) i saw a BIG FAT RAT! the rat was only a little smaller than an average cat and it was running down the same staircase as me. i was alone at the staircase and nearly freaked out. so i decided to run backwards. then i heard footsteps. if i run backwards, i will look like some retard. so i stopped, and pretended to walk slowly down. after that man walked down, i followed behind him. thankfully, the rat had ran away.

i totally have no talent in jap. the rest of the class like have some super sonic memory, after the teacher ran through the hiragana words ONCE, and wrote some words on the board, they were ABLE TO READ IT JUST LIKE THAT! and i was frantically referring to that yellow piece of paper that the teacher gave and stilll having trouble reading it!

drina teo is bored. and has nothing to do at home.

2009-01-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

taekwondo finally started again last night (: but but i had to conduct class! coz wong sir was busy with work ): and through that 1hour that i was TRYING to conduct class, i learnt that i HATE LITTLE CHILDREN. they totally piss me off. there was this little idiot, he was standing right in front of me AND HE TOTALLY IGNORED MY INSTRUCTIONS! WTH! i asked him to centre split, and he was standing there like a retard (when he is not. actually he's rather smart just that he LOVES to rebel) and within the one hour or rather 45 min, i exhausted everything that i could do with the class. warm-up, circuit training, basic kicks.
anyway, the sparring with janson and yanyi turned out to be the funniest event of the day janson was supposed to team up with yanyi to spar against me. but this was what happened.

janson:kicks bryan.
bryan: screams why the hell did you kick the referee?
janson: sorry sorry no specs very blur
bryan: DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL TO YOU?

i was rolling on the floor. laughing so hard that i thought that my stomach would burst.

went to rjc open house today. felt that the atmosphere was super cold. that if you were there, no body cared if you lived or died. horrible right? well, i cannot get in there anyway, unless i get into arts stream or appeal, which i'm too lazy to.

i'm happy, wait, not happy with my score. i know i'm being contradicting. i'm happy with the most of the subjects like lit, HIGHER CHINESE, math, amath, bio, chem. as subjects like lit with i normally die in, i survived! especially higher chinese! i thought that i would like get b4 or c5 in it, because i summarized the wrong thing besides my chinese got b3! so getting a b3 was a bonus to me, especially knowing that SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY FAILED IT! (:(:(:
but ENGLISH! I feel like killing myself! i don't think i should be getting what i got! my english shouldn't be so bad! but i'm not willing to pay 102.7 dollars for a remark! it's DAYLIGHT ROBBERY!

2009-01-07T14:26:00.002+08:00

i went back to school yesterday. not for cca though but to help dawn lim with her new cca. oh and her cca is hopelessly retarded (sry but it's the truth) it's green club, like enviroment club. dots right? but since she's a nice teacher and i've got nothing to do, i decided to be kind and help her out (: because cca's fair's on saturday and she has no club members to help her prepare and she has to do all the planning and stuff herself! anyway, we did stuff that were rather interesting. like making the skeleton of leaves. which was super difficult and tedious, but the end product was AMAZING. best of all, we managed to convince ms lim to laminate it, so that it look super good. and we kept one each (:

my brother failed grading. but he's going to retry (: so jia yous daren

and on saturday, my slippers broke. or rather one of my slipper broke. and dragging it round amk central was too tiring for the other leg, so i threw it away and attempted to hop to the nearest shop shop, but in the process, there were lots of steps, and slipper keep getting caught on the step, and i fell down thrice. i couldn't find a decent pair of slippers in the shoe shop so my mom called my father to fetch me back to my grandma's house and while waiting, i 'pole danced'

2008-12-31T01:14:00.002+08:00

today's the last day of 2009. decided that i shall be nice. and since i shall be officially out of the school in a few hours time, i shall say my goodbye to the school here.

well initially in 2005, i hated the school. well maybe it was because of the people in my class. there were too many cliques and it was super hard to fit in. even if you were in one of the cliques, you would face backstabbing from people in your own clique which i found was disgusting. so i sort of formed this impression in my mind that st nicks was full of these people, plastic people. 2006 resulted in more or less the same impression, if not worse, as my class did not change. and i even wanted to b**b the school. but 3 loyalty 07 changed my mind. the class was super nice. full of friendly people. which the exception of some scholars. we bonded well, had fun. slowly my impression of the school changed. i did not feel that i WANTED to get out of the school. but 4loyalty was the bomb. i had lots of fun with the people there. broke lots and lots of stupid school rules. shared food ALL THE TIME in class, passed it round and teachers could not do anything to stop it. my teachers were also RELATIVELY nice with the exception of a few teachers whom i shall not mention. had horny quotes of the day, passed books with sex scenes round the class so that everyone can have a good laugh at it, read 100 sex facts on cleo in class. laughed non-stop, till my stomach ached. oh and attempted to COMPLETE ALL MY HOMEWORK IN CLASS so that i can study for the uncountable tests at home. oh and not to mention the fabulous time i had in cca, especially during sectional time. i know i was the object of all the teasing. but we sure had fun!

and i think the best part of my school life was studying with my friends during and after prelims. we had an EMO TABLE, which consisted of wenman, yihsin and me. i'm sure that we spent most of our time laughing our heads off at one another, but it was a good way of destressing. and how we screamed in the toilet and cym was in the class next to the toilet.

i had a wonderful time

thanks janeal for that post. you made me laugh even though i was feeling damn pissed. just thinking about your face drinking that 4 PACKETS OF SUGAR coffee made me laugh all over again. you really made my day

and teoliang, thanks for being there for me these 8years in the SAME CLASS. you really kept me company these years. lets try and make it 10 years (:

oh one more person. YIHSIN! my 'gay partner'! haha we share the same taste in almost EVERYTHING (: hahahaha and BECAUSE OF YOU, I HAVE SILENT LAUGHTER, AND VIBRATE ALL THE TIME! HMMP! (: (: (:

2008-12-31T00:52:00.004+08:00

my turn to rant. and yes i am pissed (but unlike janeal, i do not eat a lot nor do i study when i'm pissed)

what the shit is wrong with you. you called to apologise. yes you said sorry so many times tonight that even with both our hands and feet, i would not be able to count them. you said that you didn't want to lose a friend like me. but have you ever spared a thought for me? were you there when i needed someone to talk to? seriously look. look at the uncountable times that you called to apologise to me. do you ever mean it? you said to give you one last chance. how many chances have i given you? you were one of the people whom i'm more patient towards. the way you insulted me, called me names (not that i care most of the time) and made super sarcastic remarks while i was trying to listen to you rant. that was the last straw. at that time, i was seriously pissed with you. i still remember the anger in me when i just put down the phone halfway. i didn't want to hear your voice anymore.

i hate it when you rake the past, remind me of how wonderful the past was. yet you fail to realise that our characters really clash. both of us are strong headed. refuse to listen to others. how the hell can we work together or even remain as friends when we quarrel all the time. yet tonight when i told you about this, you don't even bother to see my point of view. just continue apologising. and pretend that i didn't say anything. i was being sarcastic? why don't you look at yourself? maybe this was what it was meant to be, maybe we cannot even remain as friends. this was all a farce. the friendship that we tried to hold on to was no more than a flimsy thread. and i have no idea why my tears flowed. i hate it when i cannot control it. i don't even think you are worth my tears. i really really thought that we could be friends. thought that if i were more tolerant... well it's all over now.

okay there's not so much anger in me now (:

2008-12-28T22:35:00.002+08:00

back from taekwondo about an hour ago and my legs are still sort of aching! damn shouldn't have tried to do that stupid side kick. my thigh hurts and my knee sort of hurts. but i shall PERSEVERE! coz i want my kick to be sort of perfect. and i realised that i used "sort of" 3 times in just three sentences.
by tues, my side kick will be better! jia yous myself!

i shall watch a walk to remember now (:

2008-12-24T10:06:00.003+08:00

yesterday was my sixth consecutive day out and boy am i tired.

i had a mind not to go out yesterday, but it was a belated teacher's day celebration for my lp teacher! and it was also a great time for me to catch up with my lp friends.

we lunched at soul garden, my first time there! (i don't eat out very often, and even if i do, i go to food courts or fast food) ms ng looked as great as ever, company was great. and they tried to trick me into sitting opposite gerald, coz they said that we were always sitting opposite each other in class. haha. at first i was stone and said y? i thought someone was sitting at my seat or something (cause i went there later than the others) it was until gerald said that terrance was sitting there then did i realise what they were doing. okay not my fault. i wasn't in the class for a pretty long time! later yenping, dom, gerald and me went bowling. kept losing to stupid gerald by a few miserly points! and yenping kept winning. the score for her first game was 69 and we laughed at her. and at the 2nd game, we were telling her that later she get the same score.

i got owned at pool though. dom has a pool table at home! so he was super pro. but at least this time, i did not hit wild shots, and hit some good shots too, suprising everyone as well as myself. like there was this ball that dom said would be hard to get in, but i got it in. oh and yenping, she managed to in two balls with one shot! and dom also showed us that if the white ball was touching another ball, no matter which direction you hit the white ball, the coloured ball touching the white ball would still move in the forward direction! ( something that i didn't know!

found out on the train back that quinten had sex with his gf. quite shocking. and we were arguing whether to pity the girl or the guy. i'm still sitting on the fence. shouldn't pity both. maybe the girl wanted it herself. and the guy couldn't control his hormones.

that was the last straw. i'm never going to listen to you again. what's the point of apologizing when you don't mean it? really can't stand the sight of you

2008-12-22T22:26:00.002+08:00

today's a HAPPY DAY. BUT STILL first i want to rant!

caroline pua!!! tell me that you are coming! and then... luckily i never wait for you! if not i would be waiting for ghost! haha okay i'm done. and the 'ghost word reminded me of what janeal said.

janeal: now you are standing in the middle. do you see anything?
me: see what
janeal: middle person supposed to be able to see ghost what
me: haha i see one. you lor (:

and while i was trying to be pissed calling CAROLINE PUA, janeal took a photo of me squatting beside the TODAY newspaper stand! and she said you look like that stand coz your bag is as red as the stand! -.- oh and i want that picture! haha want to know how unglam i look, squatting at one corner of the mrt. must have looked ridiculous!

the golden retriever at east coast was super cute. at least that entertained us while it was raining (: AND THE DOG LIKES ME! at least according to the owner. it was comfortable about rolling over for me (: yay!
conclusion: dogs like nice people like me! unlike janeal (: aww don't be sad (: haha

janeal says i'm the biggest crab. ( and that's for talking crap) BUT it takes one to know one. so therefore i conclude that janeal is a big crab too. and at least one of the biggest (: haha

sry nat. i think you were bored to tears. sry for not entertaining you ): janeal was too talkative! see lah naughty janeal

didn't eat lunch coz i was still full from my apple pie and subway cookie (: but i had donuts, TAKOPACHI, and my strawberry roll and the bai xue lian ren for dinner (: a little unusual but nvm

my legs are aching and the muscle spasm is starting again. i really hope it doesn't get worse like the last time, where i had to limp everywhere. and people stared at me and said "y is this person limping so badly". what a stupid question! people leg pain then will limp lah. stupid!

thanks natalie, janeal and chaiyi for being such great company (: even a boring outing like this can end up entertaining (:

2008-12-17T15:19:00.002+08:00

came back from japan yesterday. was super tired. and woke up this morning with a throat that felt super weird. my lips are also peeling or rather my whole face is peeling. the weather is so freaking dry there.

in japan their arcade is filled with those kiapping (ufo catchers) machines. and the toys there are so freaking cute! oh oh and i managed to catch one stitch with the cap with a little help from the person in the shop! the guy was so nice. he after i tried one time and the stuffed toy went rather near the thing, he shifted it a bit nearer to make it easier. and by the third try, i HAD THE TOY! haha
minyi tried too (: and the person even told her how to catch it! as we couldn't understand jap, he practically moved the whole uf0 catcher, for her to see, point to her where the thing should hit and everything! but by that time she had already spent quite a fair bit of money on the machine (:
after that we watched this jap guy try to catch a super big stuffed toy with his group of friends. he was super desperate and had spent way more than 2000 yen (s$32). he was so desperate such that he even moved the person's hand to tell her where he wanted the toy to go! coz after a number of tries, the shop people would move the thing nearer to make it easier. and i was stand at one side, laughing at him.

food there was super nice and i'm STILL CRAVING FOR THAT BOWL OF CURRY KATSU DON! it's super nice! even though i ate it almost once every day!

i really don't like raw stuff. it tastes... raw -.-

:D

2008-12-05T11:59:00.002+08:00

Drina Teo! Aren't I smart? I fixed it within 10 minutes, hahahaha! -sticks tongue out &runs away-

PS: Check your drafts, hahaha! :D

2008-12-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

okay i'm officially done with the stupid blogskin. my eyes are hurting from the stupid numbers! move up move down move left move right, make it wider, less wide. arrg. shouldn't have attempted in the first place. haha. but it was sort of fun INITIALLY, seeing how the thing move when the number changes. but after a while...

haha i think i must have sounded like an idiot on the phone with janeal. haha bet you have lots of fun laughing at me (: at least i provided entertainment (:

i think the pic on top sucks. but i don't care lah. i think i spent less than an hr on it. haha don't have much patience anymore ): shall do a better job the next time round i feel like doing (: actually i wanted it to be full of rafel nadal but after a while i didn't like his face anymore so i didn't put anymore of his pics and figured that taekwondo would be nicer. but i couldn't find enough nice pics of taekwondo. so this is the end result. super horrible but nvm. shall use the excuse of first attempt. (:

THANKS A MILLION JANEAL CHOO! I LOVE YOU LOTS!

2008-11-29T23:08:00.002+08:00

went for cca farewell camp (: at the same time missing my quarter finals of the tennis competition): coz the time clashes. and mummy told me to see the opportunity cost. so opportunity cost for camp was that i would miss the fun, miss being we my super fun section (: and the opportunity cost of missing the tennis competition was...(i spent a long time thinking)... miss gaining experience. that was because i was once again against seeded 1, which would be impossible to win. i can imagine how the game would go.
she serves the ball, i touch the ball, the balls flies OUT OF THE COURT. i serve, she returns down the line or cross court, i miss the ball. okay so how am i supposed to win points? i don't know. so hence i chose to miss the game and have fun instead. i REALLY don't regret my decision. (:

PA turned out to have the largest number of turn ups (: (shows how bonded we are!) though only 3 sec4s of the section came, kahyan, nat and me! got to admit the games were not really all that fun, but being with the PA section once again was wonderful! i enjoyed the first game, coz it was damn funny. we were supposed to create the longest line of things. we used shoes, untied shoe laces, pinafores, cards (from wallets) wallets, hand phone, dismantled hand phone batteries, cover, rubber band, one LONG strand of hair, crayons (from the previous colouring of flag), and many other things, after that we lay on the floor,stretched out our hand, point our toes, willing to do anything just to make the line longer than the rest. and WE WON! (:

the table soccer game (human instead of the weird looking dolls) was also rather fun. crystal and joey joined themselves together at a period of time just to block a ball! too bad no one took a shot of that. it was so unexpected. and they did it on impulse, not communicating with each other at all!

bbq was a failure. apparently, they dumped a whole lot of charcoal and a few starters into the aluminum foil bbq pit and sort of expected it to work by itself. so me and jane had to help them to start the fire. there was also limited food. they only bought sausages, chinese sausages, chicken wings, satay and otah. it's like they are on a budget or something. don't even have stingray! and they were fanning ashes of the charcoal into the food, which seemed super unhygenic to me. so chaiyi, janeal and me went out to tau huay stall to eat (: and we spent a long time chatting (:

night trail was rather screwed. i still think that they shouldn't have used bluetooth to send the clues. just pass using paper or something. then people wouldn't recieve the wrong clues! anyway, it was fun scaring janeal! haha and i was walking beside her when i scared her! haha thankfully she didn't roll down the stairs (: i realised that i scared her at the wrong place only after i screamed at her ): sorry. and wenyi, she just grabbed my shoulders and screamed into my face. actually i saw her already. just that she screamed into my face and i got a shock.

the movies that they brought to screen was also stupid. hcm3 and beverly hills chihuahua. both are movies that i thought was stupid. especially hcm3.
quote from janeal: just sing the song and everything will be solved.
well it really seemed that way in the movie. like how they sing and manage to score points and win. that was stupid. and it was difficult to sleep with that horrible music blasting out of the speakers not to mention that the sound quality was horrid.

i thought that the mpr would not be that cold. so me and janeal chose the best place to sleep! UNDER THE AIR CON!!! and everytime a person walked past and asked us: wah you all not scared cold ar. under the aircon leh! and both of us would burst out laughing hysterically. i laughed till i thought my jaw would drop. and i suffered from stomach cramps from laughing. JANEAL LAH. ALL YOUR FAULT MAKE ME LAUGH! (:

while i was sleeping, janeal was super MOTHERLY and kind and sweet (: she helped cover me with nerissa's sleeping bag. coz apparently i was breathing rather heavily and was curled up. and everytime i move and the sleeping bag didn't cover me, she would help to cover me with it again (: thanks janeal!

anyway, i still woke up halfway, at about 1 or 2am. found it too cold to sleep and moved out to the cyber cafe to defrost. it was freezing in the mpr. i think blew my nose many many times. and we decided to move to the specs stand to sleep. we talked a fair bit and only managed to sleep at bout 4. must the position that i slept in or something. i woke up with a pain in my back. i couldn't straighten or bend without feeling a sharp pain. janeal left at 6am coz of the pain in her leg and arms ): and i still think it's rheumatism.

the next day wasn't very fun. i was too tired to take part in the games. my mind couldn't think or work properly. so when they went to play captain's ball, me, chaiyi, mich and nat (who came back) sat down at the cca board and talked (:

went home feeling super tired. thankfully didn't suffer from motion sickness from the bus ride (:

2008-11-26T18:47:00.003+08:00

just came back from my tennis competition! AND AND I WON!!! found it super amazing that i won considering that i had only bout 2.5 hours of sleep last night. and i was stoning throughout the first part of the game (: the first set was super close. we took turns breaking each other's serve and holding serve. so the score was a close one. 6-6 with tie break 8-6. it was madness i tell you. i really thought that i would lose. the next set wasn't much better. i was 4-0 down. and then suddenly i realised that i was losing super badly or something and then suddenly i began to pick up real fast. and i caught up to 6-4, ending the match. i really thought that i would get trashed or something. anyway, the next match would be horrible! i'm against seeded 1 AGAIN. another round of getting trashed ):

talking about tennis competition. there was something i saw at kallang that i found very disturbing. i was watching my brother play his match. the boy was young. bout 11 or 12. his skills were not bad, he could run, could hit, could spin the ball well. in all a respectable player and was seeded 8th. but what i couldn't stand was the fact that his parents were overly demanding. they expected him to win. both parents and the grandfather came just to watch him play! and the father even stood right outside the court. okay it isn't wrong to support his son. but his actions irked me. at the beginning of the game, my brother won the first game. immdiately, the father's expression changed. he told his son "tennis is the only thing you have. if you don't win, don't walk out of the court". come on lah. there must always be a winner and loser. another thing that i couldn't stand about him was that he was always telling the son if the ball was out or in. how accurate can he get? he is outside of the court. how can he tell if the ball is out or in? obviously he does not or never took physics. there is such thing called parallel error? and every time his son hits a good shot, he claps. every time my brother hit a good shot, he shoots my brother a dirty look. yucks!!! just thinking about it makes me what to puke. i really pity his son. have such a demanding father. his son is just like a puppet.

tennis is all about enjoying the game, playing your best. not just tennis, any sport. it's just a game. there will always be a winner and a loser. even if you are a very good player, there would always be someone who would be better than you. the better and more hardworking player should win and deserve to win. it's not about being kiasu, and calling the ball out even if it's not so that you can gain points and win.

2008-11-20T15:08:00.002+08:00

i was too tired to type yesterday, so i didn't' update.
anyway, me, yihsin, mich, suxian went OCC yesterday.
we were super "lucky" and it must be thanks to michelle! (inside joke) we wanted to bowl after swimming, but they were having competition the whole day and lanes were closed. later we wanted to play tennis, but then it suddenly started raining super heavily! so we played table tennis and pool! and i got to say that i suck at pool but we had fun. beside us, there were many tables of people but we were clearly the lousiest. the second time we played, there was this stupid woman beside us and within our first 5 mins there, she was already shaking her head at us and shooting us dirty looks. for goodness sake, we are just kids. give us a break lah. i know we were making a fool of ourselves but there's no need to be so serious. it's just a game and we are out to have fun. okay i really shouldn't be bitching about her.

on a lighter note, i found my prom dress! but i have yet to find my heels. haha i know my dress doesn't look like a prom dress but who cares! it's super simple and there's sleeves and somewhat a collar! i don't care. even though i know it's too conservative! -.-

2008-11-17T20:30:00.003+08:00

Starting time: 8.31pm
Name: DRINA!
Sisters: ZERO!
Brothers: 1
Shoe size: lol i don't take note of that.
Height: 152cm ( 10 cm shorter than xinyi!)
Where do you live: Yio Chu Kang! and i'm no where near anything!
Favourite drinks: Mountain Dew! i know it looks disgusting. but it's nice!
Favorite breakfast: waffles

Have you ever
Been on a plane: yup
Swam in the ocean: don't think so. but i swam in the sea before does that count?
Fallen asleep at school: duh! i do that all the time!
Broken someone's heart: haha don't think so.
Fell off your chair: sadly yes. i LOVE to sit on the chair tilted such that it is one-legged. so of course there would be times when i would fall.
Waited for someone to call: used to. but not anymore (:
Saved emails: nope.
What is your room like: BLUE! it used to be pink! but i managed get my parents to change the colour
What's right beside you: tissue box. (not that i'm using it or anything. it's just on my bed.
What is the last thing you ate: spaghetti. for dinner (:

Ever had
Chicken pox: Yup. when i was 4 i think. and i even have a scar on my nose!
Sore throat: duh?
Stitches: nope
Do youBelieve in love at first sight: nope
Who was the last person You danced with: haha me dancing? wait i did dance. last year i think. for some class thingy.
Last made you smile: YI HSIN!
You last yelled at: my brother! he killed the power on my laptop!

Today
did youTalk to someone you like: No
Kissed anyone: Nope
Get sick: nope!
Talk to an ex: nope
Miss someone: not really.
Eat: spaghetti
Best feeling in the world: on the com the whole day and playing tennis!
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: YES my sheep!
What's under your bed: things that i dropped?
Who do you really hate: hypocrites
What time is it now: 8.48pm!

Random
Is there a person who is on your mind now: Yup.
Do you have any siblings: yup
Do you want children: not really. unless they can suppass the crying and whining stage
Do you smile often: Hahahaha all the time
your hand-writing: nope.i think it sucks
Are your toe nails painted: Nope
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: no other bed! i love my bed!
What colour shirt are you wearing now: Black. actually it's my bro's shirt. but he can't wear it anymore!
What were you doing at 7.00pm yesterday: i was still in Malaysia! eating dinner i think
When did you last cry: when i broke up? haha. seems quite long ago (:
Are you a friendly person: er nt really (: i'm quite an introvert (:
Do you have any pets: yup! my dog!
Where is the person you have feelings for right now: haha don't have one (:
Did you hold hands with the person who mean anything to you now: same ans as above (: does holding hands with yihsin during iceskating count?
Do you sleep with the TV on: No. i hardly watch tv
What are you doing right now: stupid. What am I doing now?
Have you ever crawled through a window: haha no.
Can you handle the truth: sure!
Are you too forgiving: haha i think so (:
Are you closer to your mother or father: mom.
Who was the last person you cried in front of: i cry alone.
How many people can you say you've really loved: Too many
Do you eat healthy: haha no! but i love salads! esp those made by mom!
Do you still have pictures of you and your ex: haha no.
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you: Maybe?
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to: i don't go to anybody
Are you confident: yup! most of the time!

5 things I was doing 10 years ago: lol how to remember?!

5 things on my to-do list today:
haha the day's ending! so i guess this question doesn't stand. but i'm going to hunt for a stupid prom dress tmr.

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. DARK CHOCOLATE
2. yam cookies (:
3. lol i can't think anymore!

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. keep the money!
2. invest it in stocks! and become richer!
3. buy stuff that i want
4. help others (: i'm so generous rite?
5. i don't know

5 of my bad points:
1. hot headed
2. bad tempered
3. impatient
4. rebellious
5. ego (:

5 people who I want to do the quiz:
1. JANEAL
2. MINYI
3. YUYING
4. DARYL (i know this is random)
5. whoever wants to do it

2008-11-17T14:05:00.003+08:00

came back from genting yesterday. it wasn't as nice as i expected it to be.

on the trip there, my bro forgot to bring his jacket. halfway there, the bus had a tyre puncture and we had to sit in a freezing bus to the nearest rest point. we waited for nearly 3 hours for the tyre to be fixed. our expected time of arrival at genting was 4am. but due to the delay, we arrived at 7 am, beat, tired and grumpy. we did not have enough sleep but had to pull through the entire day. the theme park wasnt' that all fantastic as well. the rides were old and it was small. anyway.

during breakfast on sun, i was eavesdropping (as usual) and i heard this family's conversation.

little boy: (scolding brother)

father: naughty boy. how can you scold your brother etc.......

little boy: i not naughty i very good. coz kor kor say something wrong

father: very naughty. see everybody looking at you already. so naughty i don't want to talk to you

little boy: but i want to talk to you. i good boy. not naughty

father: keep quiet, i don't want to talk to you

little boy: but i like you. i want to talk to you. i good boy. i love you

this continued for another half an hour or so and i was sitting at the table next to them, laughing.

i was thinking if the boy was a little older, maybe he would have been a little more rebelious and more daring, the arguement wouldn't have been that way. if i had been the little boy, i would have said something along the line of don't want to talk to me don't talk to me lah. like i care like that. but the boy was so cute. he kept pestering the father to talk to him.

on friday, before i left for genting, i went out for class outing at kallang leisure centre. we went iceskating. i still don't know how to skate backwards though, but michelle, suxian and wenman managed to skate quite a fair bit even though it was their first time.

after skating and lunch at kfc, me and yihsin went bowling. while the rest went to plaza sing to shop. i managed to win yihsin!

after that we caught up with them at plaza sing. i was on a 12 dollar budget to buy a mouse for my laptop and i managed to find one that cost 10! haha

while at the shop something comical happened. wenman and company were looking at the ipod skins and screen protector. then yihsin said to me: isn't ipod cheap? it's only 15 dollars! i got a shock and i stared at her and asked her: do you know these are only the skins? and i stood there and laughed non-stop.

after buying the mouse, i wanted to eat ice-cream and i found out that i had 3 dollars and 30 cents left. and yihsin had 20 cents left. and the stupid ice-cream cost 4.50. so we borrowed money from suxian my wallet was totally empty after that. i think i spent bout 50 dollars that day!

2008-11-10T11:34:00.002+08:00

Os are ending! something to be happy about (: but even after Os, we STILL need to go back to sch. after bio, need to stay back. and on friday, need to go back for prize presentation. but on a high note, after prize presentation, i have class outing at kallang leisure centre (:

oh well Os were not too bad (: overall, this year's papers were WEIRD! it's nt the normal kind of questions, where it was so straight forward. like the amath paper, it was rather difficult. and the physics paper, that was hell and paper 1 (which i took today) wasn't much better. we didn't even know if our ans were correct. like whether the object is in equilibrium or not. unseen prose for lit was hard. i didn't know what the two groups of people they were talking about were, though the Mockingbird was quite okay. anyway, it's over.

2 more papers left! and all of them are mcqs!

i don't even feel like studying! actually i never left like studying. like before the Os, when i'm supposed to feel stressed, i'm not. and in the middle of Os, i'm still going for all my activities, taekwondo, tennis etc, while people are studying at home, i out slacking, playing. well, i got to say that my life never change because of Os. that a good thing? i don't know.

actually lots of funny things happen during the period of time when i was abstaining from blogging. like how my brother thought prosecution was being taken a prostitute. and how yishin, didn't know what is taohuay, and tried to argue that it was some other name in taiwan, when she didn't even know what was the name and I HAD TO REMIND HER WHAT IT WAS CALLED. the rest i can't remember. but studying in sch with wenman, yishsin was fun.

2008-09-28T23:12:00.002+08:00

screwed up everything. so far all the results that i got back were like shit. disappointed. and i STUDIED!!!
if i get this kind of marks for Os, i will just jump off the building. it's like i studied for nothing! and all my hardwork just went down the drain or something.
tmr getting back lit and physics. two horrible papers that i don't think that i will score well in.
lit was horrible. and physics... nothing to say. i slept through both paper 1 and 2. so what kind of results do you think i will get?
actually i think i know why my amath paper was so horrible. coz my mind keep replaying what happened the day before. was so occupied thinking and thinking. that i couldn't even concentrate on the first paper. hence my horrible results
and now, i totally have no life. after school--eat, study go back home , eat and study somemore. don't even play tennis.

anyway, friendlies at pines was horrible got trashed like shit. and it was only because i lacked practice. i didn't even touch tennis ball or my racquet for like a WEEK! how could i expect myself to play? my first game was crap. couldn't even control the ball. until like near the end, my ground strokes finally came back to me but my serve didn't

NOW I'M GOING TO CHIONG FOR Os! JIA YOU DRINA! YOU ARE GOING TO GO ON STAGE! YOU ARE GOING TO GET TO VJ!

AFTER Os, YOU MUST CHIONG TENNIS! YOU WHOLE LIFE WILL BE TENNIS TENNIS TENNIS TENNIS TILL AFTER SPEX. AND YOU ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH QUARTER FINALS FOR SPEX!
MUST FIND TIME TO PRACTICE PIANO ALSO! MUST BEAT YUAN HONG! DON'T LET HIM WIN YOU!

2008-09-12T04:45:00.002+08:00

we should have done this a long time ago. if we had, maybe, i won't be feeling so shitty now. i really feel like i'm down in the dumps
sometimes i wondered and question if you ever cared for me.
sometimes, you really piss me off. i just don't say it, coz i don't want us to quarrel, us to fight
sometimes i really feel that you are an alien to me. i feel that i don't know you, feel that you are so distant
i realised tonight rather this morning that i was sort of right
anyway, i just glad that it's over.
i really can't stand another time like this. it's like hearing something that i don't want to hear.
and the point is that i can't run away.
it's so easy for you to say let's not talk to each other anymore, delete my number. and i'm sorry
ask yourself, how many times in this month have you said sorry to me?
it's so numerous that it doesn't mean anything to me now
and what's the point of deleting your number when you very well know that it is stuck inside my head, it doesn't make sense to delete it. what i'm just erasing is just the outside, the shell, deluding myself that i will and can forget about you. but that's just running away and i'm tired of running
go and reflect what you have actually done to me. it doesn't make sense if you just apologize for no reason. not that it would make a difference anymore.
i really what's your purpose
but i don't care anymore
i really don't
and don't try to make me to
keep to your promise and not disturb me anymore

2008-09-04T01:44:00.002+08:00

last fri

the trip back to my primary school made me realise that despite the separation of four years, our friendship has never changed. Norman, Shanzhi were quick to spot us in the canteen and were GENTLEMANLY enough to offer us seats even though we turned down their offer. Norman, is still scared of me, upon seeing me, he quickly moved back his chair. and his description of me to other people 'cannot remember her ar? she's the very violent one'. please lah i were got violent only kick and wack you a bit only (: anyway that would be my last year going back as it is so difficult to find teachers there. we could go anywhere expect stay and rot in the canteen. and the teachers don't even want to come down.

Tue

went to xinyi's house to play tennis with bryan, minyi and xinyi's friend, daniel
and xinyi, you didn't solve your problem
but it was fun
sry for not going tkd
bryan! cheer up! don't think too much!

2008-08-25T15:00:00.003+08:00

conducted tkd class yesterday again. xinyi and minyi didn't go ):
Olympics finally ended. China disappointed me. Olympics tkd was sort of disappointing. i expected more out of it. instead the players were like defending so much that there weren't much action. they are not even aggressive. i thought that they would be superb. yes i know that they have super powerful kicks, but even so, what's with them holding back so much? AMERICA'S QUITE GOOD AT TKD!!! they have 3 or 4 golds! just narrowly losing to korea! and that cuba guy, he and his coach actually kicked the referee! stupid people. no sportsmenship!

chinese compo sucks! i think i wrote out of point. though yihsin was worse. she wrote 3 people instead of 1. at least half of my compo was still relevant.
eng was shitty as well. the passage were quite difficult. anyway it's over. shouldn't dwell on it.

back to mugging for Os.

2008-08-22T01:40:00.002+08:00

english oral was okay i guess. but i'm still angry that they didn't let me complete what i want to say for picture discussion! and the two teachers laughed at me non-stop for the conversation part. it's not my fault that my life is so funny!

teachers: do u see yourself as a neat and tidy person?

me: hardly. in fact, i think i'm a super untidy and messy person. take for example, my table in my room is cluttered with books, coz every day i come back late and by the time i finish studying, i would be very tired already, so i would just tell myself 'i don't care!" and push all the books to one side of the table *teachers laugh like mad* and go to sleep.

the whole conversation was filled with them laughing non-stop at me! and i felt like an idiot.

anyway i think i'm damn smart managed to guess the topic for two days. for the first half of the group, i guess that sports would come out and IT DID! and for the 2nd day for my class, whichwas my turn, i guess healthcare, and hygiene was sort of healthcare! haha i'm a GENIUS!

i'm just glad that we are on talking terms

to the suprise of everyone, i'm going for grad night. only coz Mrs Koh sort of forced me to go. when i told her that i don't even have anything to wear there, she was like we go shopping one day okay? which SHOCKED ME! so i told her that i will shop by myself and promised to go. anyway, my class will be most likely booking a hotel so stay over. not that i think we will sleep much anyway. nice that my class is so bonded. so even though i still don't really like the school, i think i will miss my classmates

2008-08-19T01:56:00.002+08:00

this post is dedicated to you the JERK. even though there's a high chance of you not reading it.

normally, at this time of the night, we would still be talking away, u, translating whatever the dj is saying over the radio for me, so that i get to hear the ghost stories too. normally, at this time, i would still be awake and quite energetic but now, i'm tired already. i want to sleep. without you to keep me awake so that i cn study throughout the night, till the next morning, how am i supposed to finish studying for all my tests? how can i complete revision?

i was super emo today. don't know why though. thought i should be more energetic, due to the extra sleep hours but the opposite was true. i couldn't concentrate in class, when xixian talked to me, i didn't feel like replying and sometimes, i jus feel like bursting out in tears.

i still feel cheated. want to know the real reason why i broke up with you? coz i felt that you were only with me for money. it is as though you don't care anymore. when u said that your exams were coming and that you couldn't go out, i didn't say anything. but now, when it's my turn, you don't care. i know i owe you a game of tennis, but it's not urgent not as if you would die tmr or anything. recently, whenever i said anything offensive, you would shout at me. do you really think that i have no feelings? i often end up asking myself, 'do you actually want to be with him? it is really worth the effort?'. well looks like i have made that decision. i shall not care about you anymore. i will just disappear from your life. you won't hear from me anymore. (try). i'm going to make you regret for all the pain that you have caused me. i have this gut feeling that you have someone else, another reason for my break up. don't want to confirm it though don't want to know anything else. everything's just a big fat lie

2008-08-16T13:32:00.003+08:00

eventful week and i am free again (don't know if that is good or bad though)

tues
went for cca. JANEAL CHOO TOOK MY HANDPHONE AND MONEY and ran away! later i called her and how was i to know that she was in the same room as me? even though i could hear my own voice, i thought that she was using the loud speaker function and in a toilet or something. haha. stupid Janeal.
after that i went for taekwondo, where i was made to conduct class AGAIN. but this time it wasn't so bad, since they have already completed all their patterns. so all i had to do was to check through. so didn't really make a fool of myself. and on the previous lesson, that is on sunday, where i got to teach the beginners again (which was a much easier task), minyi and I taught them how to remember the basic commands.

Cha-Ryeo - sounds somewhat like chocolate when pronounced, so like a chocolate bar, which is straight, must put hands by your side, move your left leg, such that both legs are together.

Kyong-Ye - the last syllable sounds somewhat like what a duck would sound like, and a duck need to bend the head to drink water, so therefore it is bow!

Jun be - last syllable sounds like bee. so hence the hand actions

shio - sounds like shiok! so it's rest position! haha super cool

wed

I LOST MY HANDPHONE AND WALLET! actually didn't want to go for tuition, coz i have chem test the next day, but i thought against it, since i would just sit in front of the tv and watch tv till eight. when i reached my tuition centre, i wanted to go to the ladies. so i left my bag in class and coz there was some bimbo person inside there, so i thought against the idea of placing my phone and wallet in class. and when i went to the toilet, i placed both my things in front of me, so that i would not forget to take it back. how was i to know that i would be so blind to miss out on my things'?! so i lost both of it.

thur

was supposed to play tennis with ___ but didn't coz i lost my membership card and phone

friday

I GOT MY HANDPHONE AND WALLET BACK! haha the person called me to tell me that she still has my phone and wallet. in fact she called the school and horrible jinghan thought that i chuang huo! hummph! at the same time, i got A2 for my amath integration test, which made me happy, coz the previous integration test i got a c 5/6. at the same time, during recess, i quarrelled with him. that was round 1. after that when i put down the phone, i was super pissed that i nearly shouted at xixian. sry xixian. at night, it was another round of quarrelling and he said break-up. anyway, i would have said the exact same thing to him, so no difference. thanks dongran for comforting me. i bet i was super irritating and that was almost 12am. later he called me again. i think he was still angry with me. i hung up on him in a fit of anger. but half an hour later, he called to apologise. but i said to break up.

2008-08-06T00:09:00.002+08:00

i went for taekwiondo today despite the fact that i have bio test tmr and that i haven't completed my lit homework. shows how committed i am to taekwondo! (: anyway didn't think that i would sit down and complete my work even if i didn't go. so here.

completing my lit soon (:

wong sir said today (to bryan, minyi and me) that one of us has to learn to conduct the class, coz soon, nxt year, or end of this year he has to work overtime and may not be able to come. so me being the black belt, was made to conduct class.

something funny that a young boy at taekwondo said

boy: what's the name of the black belt standing beside wong sir?

minyi: drina

boy: oh then she must be drina sir!

minyi: she's not a guy!

boy: then drina mam!

haha stupid children. but sometimes it's quite fun teaching them. but some days i will feel very tired teaching them

so poor me conducting class. at least ppl didn't complain that i was too soft, like the last time. but it was super super messy! i have all the patterns inside my head. but once i see the whole grp of them doing, my mind went blank! like i didn't even know where to turn, what's the step etc.

enough of digressing i shall continue with my lit

2008-08-02T11:03:00.002+08:00

another hectic and demoralising week just passed. I'm so used to having tests now that i don't really care about them. like the physics one. I think I did okay, even though i don't know how to draw all the graphs and that cost me 5 marks! see how i have become so optimsitic (: don't think that that's good though.

it's funny how teachers always think that i'm the bad one in class. like when xixian didn't do her biology homework and nice me who sits beside her didn't do as well, ms lim went : Drina! must be you influence xixian! and went she found out to her horror that jinghan and sharon didn't do their work as well, i asked her, 'so who influenced who?' and her reply: 'must be Drina! influence all of you!' haha! didn't know that i'm so influential (: like my fault like that, people are bad by nature, they don't need me to influence them. i just make them reveal their real self. quote from wenman. not only dawn lim thinks that way, Mrs koh thinks like that too! what the shit lah. not that i really care. everytime i start laughing, she will stare at me and say ' Drina..' but it's xixian who's making all the noise! and i'm just laughing at her! not my fault that she's sings 'dou shi ni de cuo ni de cuo ni de cuo' and 'o macdonald had a farm' and 'oh when the saint, go marching in'. making me laugh at her all the time! she the naughty and noisy one!

and i found a way to keep myself awake during lessons! STANDING ON MY CHAIR! haha i get a wonderful view and i can't sleep coz i'm standing! and when i get bored, i can see purity having lessons and if there are primary kids, i can see them as well (: isn't that a great view? and for once, i will be the tallest in class! yay! haha when everyone is sitting down and me standing up, i will be the highest! oh and i did i mention i can write on the top of the window, so there! that's my table when i'm standing up on my chair! wonderful seat! haha

chemistry spa was screwed. after what jinghan told me, i think my whole experiment is wrong. indigestion tablet contains some carbonate and acid. and that carbonate is soluble in water, so if i do the disappear completely way, i'm not testing for rate of reaction, but rather the rate that it can dissolve in water. screw the paper! but i think lots of people did it that way, so hopefully, hopefully, it's correct.

lol i should really start studying for next week's tests. bio, differentiation, chem, social studies haiz all of them crammed into 3 days!

2008-07-21T17:01:00.003+08:00

tmr's prelim oral!!! but should be okay (: since it's ENGLISH! shouldn't be as bad as my chinese one last year! haha

MDM SUAH IS PREGNANT! wrong timing though. it means that she would be missing lots and lots of lessons with us. oh well not that i listen to her anyway. she is three months pregnant, which means that (quote from teoliang) she had sex 3 months ago! haha and my comment was. maybe not, what if she have sex everyday, coz she don't know that she is pregnant. sorry if that was gross (:

amath test tmr. stupid plane geometry.

try to slp more k? at the rate that u are tring urself out, soon u will fall sick very easliy. like last night, u were out the whole day, after that night shift, and lessons the nxt day? how are u going to stand it? jia yous with your work (: all the way

2008-07-20T17:21:00.008+08:00

a) Answer the questions below, do a Google Image Search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, do it with minimal words of explanation
b) Tag 5 other people to do the same once you’ve finished answering every question.
1. The age you’ll be on your next birthday:

2. a place you would like to travel to

i've always wanted to go there! but it's too expensive and far (what my mom says)
3.your favourite place

the beach at sunset!!! but not singapore ones (:

4. your favourite food

the one at orchard hotel is super nice!
5. your favourite animal

6.your favourite colour

7. Your favourite piece of clothing:

8. Your favourite song:

9. Your favourite tv show:

10. First name of your significant other / crush:

er i shall jus skip this (: anyway i can't find a pic on the net (:

11. The town in which you live in:

haha same as xinyi!!!

12. Your screen name / nickname:

haha go figure

13. your first job:

haha i didn't work at all (:

14. your dream job:

15. A bad habit you have:

16. Your worst fear:

i don't think i have any (:

17. The one thing you’d like to do before you die:

don't know i think i'm a pretty satisfied person(:

18. The first thing you’ll buy if you get $1,000,000:

i'm too lazy to search for pics haha. well i would buy GOLD BARS!!!

and hope that their value goes up once i buy it !!! yay

well i understand the agony of doing this so i shan't tag anyone to do this (:

2008-07-19T14:25:00.004+08:00

yay it's the weekend again! it's funny how things have changed. in the past, 4 years ago, i used to LOVE school! and everytime when it's the holidays, i would actually miss school and long going back there to be with my friends. now, just four years later, it's the reverse. i don't actually hate school, but it's no longer as fun as it used to be. now i wish that holidays would last longer, that the weekend would not be burnt away mugging for tests and just a little more breathing space. everynight, after school, it would be the same thing. first thing (even before i step into the house) to play tennis. after that would be dinner and after that will be studying. at the start of the week, i would be alright, i would be able to last till bout 11 without feeling tired. but after the 2nd day or so, i would get worn out and fall asleep studying. luckily there's still lessons where i can do all my last minute revision.

my grades are dropping and it's not because i don't know how to do the questions. it's because of my carelessness. don't know if it's because i'm so tired everyday that i cannot think clearly at the end of the day. and most of my tests are at the end of the day. i actually revise my work and that's quite depressing. physics was horrible. tell me what's wrong with this circuit i stared at it for so long and i just say that when the switch for the fog lamp is closed, and the switch for the headlamp is open, there would be a short ciruit. the wire which is connected to the right of the switch is of lower resistance than the two bulbs. thus a short ciruit occurs. not sure if it is right though coz it sounds wrong to me

watched batman yesterday with yihsin, genin and grace. sort of fell asleep at the first part. coz it was too boring. i find that the joker is super femine. when he wore the wig, he really looked liked a female!!! and the way he walks and talks and waves his arm it's totally gay! and me and yihsin were the only ones laughing at him (all of them don't have a sense of humour) when he was being sadistic. and grace, the movie is NOT scary!

jus a little note. i would not be popping by cca anymore, due to obvious reasons (sour pork). she has been going round telling my teachers that i have been going into the pa room to put my bag (what's wrong with that) and she thinks that i miss doing duties. that is not wrong, but that's not the reason why i left my bag there. i just left it there coz it's more fang bian to take it after assembly, coz as u all know, i run every morning and by the time i run finish, there's no time to go back to class to put my bag. so my only option: pa room. oh well it's just her excuse to not see my face. she even thinks that i'm ignoring her, when she is the one ignoring me. if i really am ignoring her, then i would not even bother to go to cca, and go the the pa room right? and it is also not wrong for me to do duty when it's only my level having the assembly. the sec 1s and 2s are performing and you actually want them to skip their class performance just to help the sec 4s do duty? look you are the one being unfair to them! and my physics teacher was not there that day, so i'm nt skipping lessons or anything. what the hell is wrong with your brain?! and you don't have to go one big round to tell me something. like if you don't want to see my face, just tell me straight in the face ' i don't like your face. so get away or something like that'. you don't have to say ' drina, i appreciate your help, but there's alot of people in the pa room and don't put your bag in the pa room'. stop using my bag as an excuse lah. and when i'm going out of the room, can't you use your fucking eyes to seee that i'm wearing my pinafore and it would be super unglam for me to walk out with my pinafore half worn, one hand up my back, trying to pull my pinafore down right? even the vice principal can see that i was trying to put on my pinafore and all u have to do was 'drina and xinyi, go to the track'. not as if we don't know. stupid woman

2008-07-13T00:10:00.003+08:00

i bought new tennis shoes today! yay!

haha it's nicer than the maroon one. but there's the kids one that has a nicer colour. the strips are black. haha finally don't have to go tripping over my worn out tennis shoes which has a hole such that my toes can nearly touch the floor!

was quite sad on friday. got super low for all the tests that i got back. failed ss horribly. coz they only marked seq and the class misread seq except for tl. smart ass. oh well. den for lit, i think i scored the worst in class. sucks man.

i really should stop emoing. in school i will be okay, coz people round me make alot of noise (: but once at home, where everything is quite, i tend to think too much. and this week has really been a horrible week. dunno coz it's because nv talk to you or what. but really. sometime, i feel so sad, for no reason, that i really feel like i'm breaking down, but i jus cannot let it out. and when i study, i become tired easily and fall alseep. i wasn't like that previously. don't know what has become of me. i have become like a hollow shell, there's nthing inside. really.

2008-07-06T08:23:00.002+08:00

after so long. finally talked to you last night again. actually i wanted to break up with you, but when i heard your voice, i somehow cnnt get it out of my mouth. i'm a failure rite? actually just wanted to sms you only. but then i was thinking, it's been such a long time since i heard your voice, so i picked the phone up. oh well. at least got to hear you again. i'm just glad that you have found a job that you liked. working in a hotel suits you more than working as an admin clerk. i'm just happy that you have realised that as well.

confused :/

2008-07-03T03:50:00.003+08:00

yay!! i FINALLY COMPLETED MY LIT ESSAYS!!! there's chem test later and i haven't practised. but heck. should be alright. coz i did study! and i know how to do all my practice papers. anyway i can study during lessons (:

i have PHYSICS O LEVEL SPA tmr!!! arrrg!!! and she didn't come yesterday, coz apparently she has some course. i'm nt blaming her, but she should at least tell us more bout the spa right, coz the class is like so blur blur one and everyone's not sure of what she was talking about the previous lesson! she better come today...

i'm just glad that i'm nt in the cca anymore, coz somebody's attitude is getting worse ):

haiz. what's the point of sustaining our relationship when both of us don't even have time? it's like you are trying to hold on to something that was previously there, but it isn't there now. each of us has do your own stuff. it's ur last year in poly and it's my o level year. as i predicted, we wouldn't be able to have the time to contact each other, let alone met up. it's really not possible. made worse by ur change of job, now it's even harder for me to contact you. you work at such weird hours that i don't even know how you are going to cope with your studies. somemore want to continue studying and don't want to work hard nw.. i know you don't want to get money from your mom, but at least work at some place where the timing is not midnight or something... i really don't know what you are thinking. i haven't talked to you for at least 2 weeks and the last time i saw you was at ur house corridor. i realise that you slowly lead me closer and closer to your house. at first, it was meeting you at yishun mrt, later you taught me how to walk half way there. and the last time, you made me walk all the way up, though i didn't go into your house. i know i won't have the chance to tell you all these, and the next time i call, it would be for us to go our own separate ways..again... i didn't even want to enter this relationship in the first place, it was just because i missed that feeling. i know that it wouldn't last long, but i missed it and chose to believe that it would last. but looks like my prediction is right again.

2008-06-25T22:01:00.002+08:00

with the consideration of JANEAL'S POOR EYES, KIND AND NICE DRINA SHALL POST IN BIGGER FONT!! haha see janeal, i'm so considerate! and i know i'm nice (:

i went for CCA yesterday, coz CHAIYI, MICHELLE(think i saw you), JANEAL were shouting from the comlab while i was running. didn't have the intention to go for cca, but then coz of the din you guys were making, i decided to go up (: aren't you people glad to see me? i know you were and don't deny it!!! The section was super rowdy. worse than last term and they didn't even listen to caroline talk and people like yuying and chaiyi, tried to talk back. so it was quite horrible. janeal was using the com, don't know doing what kind of thing (: and there was practically no order! haha. the worst part was--when i wanted to leave!!! JANEAL and CHAIYI refused to let go of my leg! 2 vs 1!!! how was i supposed to win? i shall go back to cca tmr. but i don't feel like, coz sourpork will be there and that face that i hate to see will be there as well. actually i'm going to CCA, coz i don't want people to pon CCA. i don't really care if you guys pon CCA, but make sure you achieve that 75%. i know CCA's nt interesting and stuff. but it's still important, coz of the stupid LEAPS points. so i shall continue to monitor you people so that your attendance will be good! yay

amath test was a disaster and i think i might just pass! crap and i studied!! can't believe it. i normally do quite well for math tests. but vectors test was okay (: i screwed up for SS as well, coz the given factor sucks and i didn't know what were the other two factors.

changing seats again. thank god i'm still sitting at the back. i shall try to concentrate more in class, even though it doesn't help, esp during physics. i jus get more and more confused. no matter how hard i try to pay attention. math can be self studied. that applies for chem as well. and most of the other subjects. so what's the point of school when i don't really learn anything from there? i can just stay at home and study. that gives me more time!

i shall attempt not to talk to you at night. coz it takes up too much time. sry. even though i know you won't read this.

2008-06-20T00:33:00.004+08:00

i realised that i only blog late at night!!! don't know why though

yay u passed ur IPPT!!!! haha and i'm irritated that i lost to u in everything by a few seconds!! oh my gosh! i cannot stand it. okay. next year target for NAFA:
2.4 run: 9min.
sit ups: 60
standing broad jump: 200cm!!!
shuttle run: 9.5
sit and reach; whatever is a.
I CAN DO IT!! I MUST WIN U!!!

went to palawan beach for beach tennis today. quite fun yet boring. met damn early at bout 8. den left harbourfront at 8.20. reached there late and coach haven't even come yet. stupid. we sat in 7 eleven and talked and ate. must have irritated the person, coz the person kept staring at us. the turn out was super pathetic. only 6 ppl excluding 2 coaches. quite sad. coz like everyone said they will come then they suddenly jus say don't want. somemore ppl are like quitting the team. like charlotte. coz coach is not putting in effort and we are like slacking. which is quite true. when she told me i didn't know what to say. jus like okay lor. but without her, the team would be so weird. even though i don't really like her, but sometimes she's quite nice. and i'm sort of quite attached to the team, so if they quit, then i might quit too. switch back to occ. but nowadays, i don't really like going occ anymore, coz you are not there. like i don't even know anyone there now. everyone that i know quit. den like got nthing to say. and it's like the ppl at ur workplace know that there's something between me and u, coz everytime i go to RC, they will keep staring at me. den take my card and stare somemore. oh well life has to go on with or without seeing you. and i will still go there, jus to prove my point (: u know somehow everytime i walk to the toilet, i will jus glance at the RC and see if you are in there, but now, there's no point in doing so, but i still do it. ~~sadly~~ it's like it has become part of me and i'm just so use to it, to the feeling that you will be there, always. crap. how did i even end up on this topic? crap.

i REALLY should start studying amath intergration. okay i shall start tmr morning. wait. it's already morning! forget it i shall slp

2008-06-17T10:29:00.003+08:00

woke up at some unearthly hour yesterday. coz have NJC entrance test. the stupid paper wrote reporting time 8am! and then later they wrote GAT: 10am. and the line below wrote those who are late would not be allowed to take the test. so i didn't know what time they were talkign about so i took it as 8am. so i left the house at 6.45 and reached the bus stop at bout 7. den went to yishun to pass him something. and he woke up late and DIDN'T PASS ME THE CD AGAIN!!! hmmmph. stupid person. and by the time i left yishun, it was bout 7.30 and i thought i was late so i stupidly took a cab down to njc. den when i reached there, my classmates were like 'drina! take so long. u know liu yi so worried for you leh!' haha i know! Lee LIU YI misses me too much! and she can't wait to see me again! haha i'm egoing again. i have been egoing alot lately.

the iq test was generally easy. just the the time that they gave was so short! 20 min to complete 60 questions! and of course slow me couldn't finish. i left like 7 blanks! and when i walked out, there was this stupid china scholar who proudly said 'zhe4 me4 jian3 dan1. wo 3 hai2 you3 wu 3 fen1 zhong1 shui4 jiao4!' like what the fuck. u smart lor but don't need to show off! like i care like that.

after that was lunch (2 hrs!). coz there was so much time, i slept and when i woke up, it was time for maths paper, which killed me. after that was eng. that was okay. coz i didn't have to write narrative it was arguemenative! (: the test ended at like 5.30 and i reached home bout 7, beat.

yay there's tkd today!!!

okay i shall complete all my lit today!! jia you!

you want me to have sex with you. i know that u ahve waited a long time. but i'm scared. i'm not prepared (mentally) actually part of me wants you to do that to. coz i know after that, you would never leave me. but what if something happens. haiz. i'm sry to have aroused you by sitting like that. it's jus my normal way of sitting. sitting crosslegged is just to uncomfortable and this is the best position. sry to have rejected your request.

2008-06-11T00:23:00.002+08:00

finally came back from phuket on sun.
ate ALOT there. it was sort of fun. went snorkeling and as a result got darker! not that i give a damn. actually i want to be darker. dunno why though. held a pistol for the first time and it was my second attempt at shooting. the first time was using an air rifle at bintan. this time the pistol had recoil. so my hand moved back once i fired and to my surprise, it felt kind of good! and it was fun!! i believe i have a potential as a shooter, coz i'm out of 10 bullets, 5 hit the dark area, the rest was on target, but coz the stupid gun wasn't zeroed for me, it was out of the black area. ((:

met khairul on mon. and as usual, he lied. he said that a snake bit him, but obviously it's nt true. knew that once it came out of his mouth. after that walked to the carpark coz DONG RAN was the lightbulb (: (ain't u happy i blogged bout u? i know u are! ) so we went there to get away from her. didn't do anything there though. passed him was i was supposed to pass him and left the place to go and study.
see i'm like so nice. travelled all the way down to pass someone something!!! acutally coz it's i nv see him for a long time liao and that was a way for me to meet him, even though it was only for a short while.

watched home alone 3 with dongran(pronounce it with the american accent) at her house it was super funny. but irritating dongran kept lying on my stomach and made me smell her disgusting smelling hair! but it was super super funny. how one small boy cn make 4 adults scramble all over the place for him, falling into his traps everytime! even though it's not quite possible, but it's a method of destressing (:

going to spar with khairul on thur. which means sort of dying. coz i CAN'T spar well. cannot even do a back thrust well enough. really don't know how to win. so it's a death match. moreover, he 4th dan in ninjustu (if that is how u spell it). and i'm a lousy first dan black belt in taekwondo. so what do u expect from the match? oh well hope he teaches me some stuff. (: and dongran if u see this, wear taekwondo pants on thurs. i will teach u kicks (: and learn well!!!

oh ya! recieved a letter from nj telling me to go for the tests!!! haha so happy!!! yayness. if they accept me, i will agree, coz today, i totally pon the trials for vj, coz don't want to diu ren xian lian... but quite sad, coz like i wasted my chance, not that i have any.

okay i'm finally tired. i shall slp nw!

2008-06-02T15:22:00.002+08:00

sat was the jubilate V. it was sort of sucky. lots and lots of propaganda. they tried to impart all the school's values in it wad yin shui si yuan, jie mei tong xin, wen wen er ya. so stupid lah. and ppl there were super super formal. coz it was GALA night... i did the video taking still my eye hurt. i stared at the stupid small screen (coz the big one will waste alot of battery) till my eye nearly popped out of my socket (:

i saw JANEAL THERE! or rather she spotted me. took advantage of her disadvantageous situation (no other PA ppl there) and tickled her with Nat. it was sort of wonderful seeing her there.

SUN
went for taekwondo.
saw a guy that looked super familiar.
after thinking for a while, i thought he was daryl. and i still think he looks like him. even his actions also like him. but then it's not him. and i only know that coz i know that he's a black belt. but then i must have seen him somewhere before. still cnnt think of it. shall continue thinking (:
taught jon his pattern. at least he is willing to learn now. don't know why the sudden change of attitude. he actually cares to remember what i tell him to the best of his ability. hope that he will be able to get his grading card soon.

TODAY
was super tired. coz i talked on the phone till about 1am. slept in chem class until liu yi woke me up. and i still am tired. chem test was horrible. didn't really know how to do. but i bet i cn pass. jus that dunno how much i will get. hope that my carbon dioxide gas thingy is correct. coz in actual fact, carbon is supposed to be inert electrode, so not supposed to react. but den cannot think of any other thing. so jus write carbon react with oxygen so get CO2.
super happy! NJC called me to ask me to go for tennis trials on fri! haha. hope they accept me. coz i know that VJ won't! so if they accepts me, then i won't have to care about VJ. hope i c ,my seniors there as well! they were the best seniors i ever had!!!

2008-05-29T18:04:00.002+08:00

just came back from tennis! i had tennis competition at Kallang today and after that, i came back and played MORE TENNIS!!! yayness!

FINALLY WON 2ND ROUND OF COMPETITION (actually it's my first round, but who cares! it's officially the 2nd round!) after so many tries, i FINALLY GOT THROUGH AND DIDN'T GET TRASHED!!!! OMG OMG I'M SUPER SUPER HAPPY!!

but tmr sure kena trashed one ): against seeded 1! CLARE FONG!!! arrrg. okay i'm going to gain at least 3 points in a game! I CAN DO IT!!! okay.. too much motivation for a day.

during the competition, i kept talking to myself, motivating myself, telling myself that YES I CAN DO IT! U WANT TO GET INTO VJ? COME ON LET'S TRASH THIS GIRL!!! YES THAT'S THE WAY!

and when i lost the first set, i went DON'T LET THIS FIRST SET DEMORALISE YOU. YOU CAN FIGHT BACK!!! SEE IT'S SUCH A CLOSE FIGTH 4-6. COME ON PLAY YOUR FIRST 3 SETTER!!! haha i supposed i must have sounded like a mad woman... that is if my opponent could hear me.

my opponent was about my standard. but she couldn't serve hard. i powered serve her and she kept netting the ball. her ball was so soft that when i whacked, it flew! so at the 2nd and 3rd set, i didn't really use power. and won her!!

happy happy happy happy happy happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-28T00:20:00.002+08:00

lol i'm awake coz u called me and asked me to call u back, but obviously, i can't coz u phone got problem and i got no other way to contact you. so i GOT TO WAIT! damn fucking pissed. already 20+ min already and still cnnt get through.

okay came back from tkd not long ago, bryan did something that i would nv dare to do, at least not for now. he ASKED wong sir to spar with him! okay wong sir did control, but didnt' really control to the extend that it was obvious. but he did a couple of illegal moves, eg punching of back. and there was this sort of slamming kick that hit bryan's face twice, until his cheek and ears were red. and after that he told us his horror story of him making someone deaf, which made me don't want to spar with him more! coz i WANT MY EARS!

okay i shall stop posting nw since i'm tired! and KHAIRUL! YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD. WAKE ME UP AND THEN YOUR FUCKING PHONE CNNT CALL THROUGH! SO HOW WAIT FOR YOU? MY MOOD WOULD BE DAMN FREAKING BAD LAH!

2008-05-24T17:24:00.004+08:00

farewell was beyond my expectations. i didn't expect them to do so many things. last year, we jus had some crappy performace from the sections but this year, they planned it really well, way beyond what i imagined. so THANK YOU SEC THREES! ESPECIALLY SEC 3s FROM PA SECTION. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

during farewell, people like JANEAL, MICHELLE were using the com, to type horrible stuff. like this:

haha i don't even talk like that. but oh well, it's the last day of cca. and when i tried to stop them, they DRAGGED ME and poked me! until i was on the floor! so much for respecting ur seniors jkjk. janeal aren't u happy that i actually posted bout u?

then they had this guess who game. where i was pictured as some person who walked like an ah beng this was the conversation they came up with:

person acting as drina: sec 2s go down to specs

sec2s :for wad?

person acting as drina: pa test

(sec 2s walk slowly)

person acting as drina: hurry up, those behind me do 100 push ups

yes i know i actually said that (: but you people walk so slow!!! haha didn't really mean it thought. but it was super funny. laughed until my face red.

the cca also bought a cake for us care bear cake.

the video was sort of touching, but had my unglam pic of me sitting in the 'hole' and standing in it!

i didn't realise that i would miss the people in my section until thursday. i would miss u people and the duties that i have been doing for the past 8 years!

actually wanted to say some last words to the section, but coz i was in a hurry, coz it was late, i didn't. oh well

friday went out with wenman, lena, grace, suxian, genin, yihisn. watched a indiana jones with yi hsin. it was quite good. but i didn't understand the line where the guy said 'he didn't disappear into space. he disappeared into the space between spaces'. after that we met up with the rest of them at sakae sushi. suxian wasted food. she ordered so much, but couldn't finish. me and yishin finished 9 plates all together. the rest ate like 13 plates? anyway i don't really have a big appetitite so i didn't expect to win. (:

played at the arcade. won everyone in basketball ((: scored 30 points!
lost to grace in the car racing. tried the para para dance machine. totally sucked at it. gave up halfway.

went to play time crisis 4. managed to clear prologue, but died in stage 1.

super fun!! should go out more often!

2008-05-20T03:03:00.004+08:00

i don't know what i have just done. i have just agreed to be with u again. what was i thinking? i know that i love you, but it's just too soon. i haven't forgotten the pain that you left with me when u broke up with me. i don't want a repeat of history. i know that i still won't be able to go out with you often. will u mind that? i know that u just said that talking on the phone would be enough for you. but after a while, you would realise that it is really not enough. what u need is a person who can commit herself fully to u. not me, coz i know i can't. i just promised not to lie to you. i didn't and i never will. i truly love you. i don't know what i have just landed myself in. it just another pain pool. filled with things that would make me cry, make me want to give up. just like the previous time, i won't be able to give my hundred per cent to you. most of it would go to studying hard and striving for the best. you are different. you are completing your diploma already and it's time that you should setttle down maybe not soon, but in the near future. it's just not right for me to take away that chance of yours. i know that if i had rejected you, you would have felt the pain that i felt 5 months ago and i know that it's hell. it was the most horrible thing to go through and i don't want to put you through that. but now, i don't know what to do. i really don't want a repeat of history, with both of us getting hurt in the end.

it's not entirely your fault that we broke up. in fact it is mine. everytime you say that it's your fault that i have become hurt, i feel like i have cause you to be hurt. i don't know how to approach you. by placing your changes on me, you are practically destroying your future with another person. i don't know why u are doing this.

i haven't slept for the whole night. only from 12 to bout 1.30. coz i was waiting for your call.

i'm useless. i can't do anything for you. not even comfort you when you are down. like today when u told me that ur best friend had passed away, i didn't know what to say.

2008-05-18T16:38:00.002+08:00

u seem to be more excited bout what course i should take than me! it's like i don't even know what i like and u keep bombarding me with ideas. buti like your idea about setting up a business. it's something that i didn't think of at all. but when u told me about it, i didn't know y i accepted it. maybe coz u sounded so convincing. so full of yourself, so excited about it that i didn't know what to say to you. you have lots and lots of idea. but maybe setting up a business isn't so good after all. there's lots of things to think about like what if it fail? what if something happens to the company, what if what if what if.... there are so many what ifs. i know i should trust u and i do trust u. but i don' t know why i do. why i believe so much in you such that i'm blinded by the truth. blinded so much so that i cnnt think clearly. it' s like you have deluded me into a dream like quality world, a place where everything is perfect, a place where nothing will fail.

u said that u have hurt me deeply and that u dont' want to hurt me again. that u know that we can never be together. but i'm sure you also know that you are the one person that i dare to be around with and feel secure. someone whom i really trust and believe in. i know that u still want to be with me, coz now and then u still ask me if u propose to me like 10 yrs later, will i accept you and last night u said that if we were in the business together, you would give me best wishes if i were to get married with another guy, but you would be heart broken. i dont' ever think that i will get married. there's too much a commitment. and i don't think i will have the strenght and energy to carry on. it just takes too much out of me. i really hate the feeling that i want to go out with you but my mind says no. i've too much of a commitment at home and it's like a put a rule on myself that i can't go out with you.

i don't think that you should have such a major commitment with me. i'm afraid i'll fail. if so, i will feel that i owe u. after all u have promised to put in so much time, money(u agreed to help me with half the cost). but what if it fails? i means that i have let u down, and that u would have lost a good position in a hotel that u would have loved to work at. it would also mean that you would have wasted time with me, building our so called "dream". it would be time and money wasted for u. and i don't want that to happen. okay maybe i want to work with you, but that doesn't mean that you should forget about what u have studied so hard for and forget about working in a hotel.

right now, i just want you to pass your driving test, it would be a sense of achievement for you i hope. and i want you to quit smoking. i know that it helps you to relax. but there are better ways of relaxing. you are practically killing yourself with all that smoke. haiz dunno what to say to you lah. want or don't want to listen is your problem. there's nothing i can do except wait and hope.

2008-05-17T11:29:00.002+08:00

i shall blog starting from thursday.
thursday: Mrs Sng didn't come to school! one less teacher to be angry about.
during CCA IDIOT pms. we told her long ago that we would have a PA test this week and yet she INSISTED that the sec 2s must go and check the equipment. i told her that they will go and check after their test. how would i know that they would hav e interview at that time as well? sucks. anyway, i volunteered that the sec 4s go and check the equipment in place of the sec 2s, but she said NO. coz "they are on duty next week and they should check it themselves" anyway i didn't want to argue with her anymore coz i was still pissed at her after last thurs when she was so irresponsible. so i went to do the interview thingy. i think our group was super scary, coz i we fired questions at them until some of them didn't know how to answer. one example : why do u think u are shortlisted as exco? ans: coz people voted for me? like duh it's based on votes lah. but u are supposed to say y ppl voted for u. when i went back, people were complaining to me about IDIOT. i didn't feel that the sec 4s were being unresonable. it is really true that the equipment in drama have problem and that we won't be able to support so many mics. we have tried before with only 1 cordless mic and the system cnnt even support it. there was so much squeaking and squealing that we had no choice but the use a wired mic. what's worse is that nxt thurs they want 4 hanging mic, clip ons, wireless. do u think that the system cn support? it is not as if we haven't told her the problems before. and what's the point of testing the equipment when the problems will only surface 30mins into the programme? obviously nothing will happen when u test it, coz u won't leave the stuff there for so long u know what's the difference between testing and setting up for event? that IDIOT is so useless.

i'm stepping down in a week's time. i really love doing PA duty, but i don't want to face that IDIOT when i do duty. i think that when i step down, the thing that i will miss most is the duties. duties really bond the section together, coz u will have to work with each other, even if it's somebody that u don't like. i'm really scared for the sec 3 batch, coz they are so soft-hearted. they will jus accept anything that the teacher says even if the teacher is wrong. it is only after that that they will rant about it. i'm sry to say this lah but can u guys have a mind of ur own. do not be afraid to speak up. that's the quality that i fail to see in all of u. u are not afraid to speak up in front of ur friends but in front of teachers, you people are like goody-two shoes. i really don't know what to say to u people. u guys don't know how many times i argued with our teachers for our section. that's y i have a strained relationship with practically all the teachers. i hope that u all can see that in PA, its not just about being nice to people, most of the time, i'm just thrown with jobs that no teacher wants to help me with. i've got to come up with everything myself and if i don't do a good job, i get criticised by the teachers. as if it's my fault. they don't even want to help me. they just love to pick on my mistakes there was never once that they praised me for the efforts. eg evoke. wenyi and me had to do everything ourselves and there was not a single time when the teachers voluteered to help us. even after the event, they didn't even say anything nice to us about it. not that i was expecting it. but i have done so many things cn u even like praise the section a little. sometiimes i feel that other teachers appreciate us more. like after duties, when we have done well, they will say thank u. do u even hear that from our teachers?

i really don't know how u guys feel about it lah. just hope that u will be able to face the immense pressure that one of u will eventually face as PA head. it's really not worth the effort to be nice all the time.

2008-05-14T20:15:00.003+08:00

another horrible day

started of with horrible teacher, followed by a horrid lit test. i knew what to write for the essay, but i didn't have enough time! it's super screwed. i can't believe i wrote maudie on my question paper and didn't write it in my ans script.

later during recess i suddenly noticed that yihsin was super quiet. didn't know y, but didn't ask further coz i know that when she is quiet, she was sad/unhappy/dissapointed (any one of those) but today was weird. she didn't say anything much. jus said western, walked to western stall and queue. later when we walked to find a place to sit, i saw a teardrop rolling her eye. i thought maybe it's nothing much, just that she yawn or something. so i pretended that i didn't see anything and continued walking. when we sat down, her tears just rolled out. didn't know y. she pretended to be all right, but we all know that it's not the case. i didn't want to probe further. heys we (genin, ivy, me) will always be there for u (: so don't worry kay? dont' be sad. cry out if u need to don't bottle it all up. i know how it feels like coz i do that too.

these few days i have been emoing. dont' know y.

i'm really worried for my mom too. hope she gets well. i really don't want anything to happen to her. please let her be alright and sleep soundly for once.

2008-05-13T18:18:00.002+08:00

jus came back from cca. slacked

not going for tkd today coz no one is going! everyone is busy and i shall be busy studying (:
tmr there's lit test. the nxt week there will be 2 lit tests of which one can be prepared and MUST be prepared.
my ppr for this term seems quite good! improvement from last term. if i never calculate wrongly, i will get 9! my best every L1R5!!!

amath test on differentiation of trigo and ln and lg graph was well done! 34 out of 35, which means i can do a little worse for my intergation test coming soon and maintain a a1

haven't talked to u for 2 days already! i feel like calling u tonight but i everytime i call, u are busy doing project. and it's like after (at most) half an hour, u will put down the phone. and when i do that, u scold me, but when u do that, i'm supposed to understand. don't u realise that sometimes u take me for granted? haiz don't wanna talk about it. i really love u

2008-05-12T21:17:00.003+08:00

weekend was fun didn't really study.
on sat went for out with Dongran to study. after that went for tennis lesson coz coach said make-up was on sat coz sun is coach aslam's wedding, so no trng. played step ladder nearly got to champion court right after that, i lost all the way): after that we had a good laugh that how we hit the balls. Daren (big) is super flex. he can be in all kinds of positions! esp his serve. chelsea is super unstable. and daren (small) is jus weird (: after that went home by the time i reached home it was like 4+, 5, so jus watched a bit a tv den went my grandma's hse.

sun woke up super late nearly 10!
went to J8 to eat bruch and stayed there till nearly 2.
came back home and changed. studied a bit and went out for coach aslam's wedding
MY FIRST MALAY WEDDING!!!
it much more informal as compared to chinese wedding.
u cn like go and leave anytime you like.
but it's fun
tessa, cherise, darren, keith, charlotte went
we signed out names on the guest book!
ate ALOT
after that was TKD!
there was this new china person who didn't understand a single word of english
so i had to teach in chinese! which sucks
i didn't know how to say low block in chinese so i said xian zai wo yao jiao ni...er... er.... di dang? den i burst out laughing coz i sounded so weird. not my fault my chinese sucks
managed to teach finish pattern in one lesson!
mao yuan almost cried. xinyi was super fierce. make him learn during break

okay today was super boring
CME learnt how to practice natural birth control! sick
what measuring temperature and seeing wad mucus? didn't really listen
didn't really make much sense to me, coz if u want to have a child, have sex everyday, confirm have children one. don't want to, pick and choose the days (: the probability of being pregnant is actually quite low (:
sry for the grossness (:

2008-05-10T18:01:00.002+08:00

did super well for this year's nafa! i can finally jump standing broad jump!
i got 171cm for standing broad jump,
10.4 sec for shuttle run,
44cm for sit and reach
incline: 18
situps: 31
i did only to get A (:
oh ya 2.4km: 12.09 (:(:(: my best timing!
it shall be my first time getting GOLD for nafa! HAPPY!!!
didn't expect to do so well for nafa and i hope that it is the same for my Os. this timing for shuttle run is the best ever and i didn't know how i managed to do it (:
and thanks to xixian running beside me, i didn't slow down (: and we came in first TOGETHER ((:

tkd on tues was fun and i feel acomplished (:
first time i pumped someone coz he didn't listen.
he was like u cannot catch me but i caught him
pumped him 50 knuckle, he refused to do until i doubled it.
he tried to cheat me by doing lesser
but coz strict me was there and i counted for him, so he couldn't cheat (:
but after that, he was super guai
didn't dare to do anything funny
listened to me !!!
sry xinyi

i shouldn't write about unhappy stuff, coz today's a happy day dont' want IDIOT AND USELESS to spoil my mood

tennis trng today was sort of fun.
did some rubbish drill and played step ladder after that.
finally trained with tessa again.
paired with tessa for doubles
after trng, drank mocha and chocolate chip dunno wad from starbucks
thanks keith (: for that treat

yay tmr's coach aslam's weddding!! yayness first malay wedding!

2008-05-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

today was super super shitty.
i feeling super angst now.
the day started off fine. jogged in the morning, went to toaphayo in the afternoon. bought my favourite gummies (:
later when i wanted to play tennis as usual, we realised that the courts at home were booked, so we went down to OCC. BAD CHOICE. BAD BAD CHOICE. i saw u there again. and this time my emotions were mixed. i didn't know whether to feel happy or sad. i was more of confused. before i went OCC, i already had this sixth sense that u would be there. that i would definitely meet u and i was right. when i was walking to book the tennis courts, i was hoping like mad that u wouldn't jump out suddenly and see me there, coz i was super unstable. my breathing was not even and i couldn't get a hold on myself. how i managed to get to the RC was a totally different thing altogether and i actually didn't know i managed to get there. part of me wanted to run, coz maybe i didn't know how to face u. the other part of me was elated that i could finally c u again. i didn't know which part of me to believe, to trust, to rely on. i supposed i just kept on walking and walking.
this time in front of u, for the first time, u didn't see my real self. i wasn't myself. Drina wouldn't be so cheerful. i appeared to be happy just so that u wouldn't think so much, so that u would be able to say that "she's alright" coz i know that that's what u want to see. but today u were weird as well. u didn't even say anything that was not politically correct aloud and all you did was to mouth those words "y u nv call?" i didn't know how to answer. most of the time i don't call is because i don't know what to say to u and u don't really help that. coz if i call before u finish ur work,u would say call later or call back when i msg u. and if i call later, most of the time u are asleep. i really don't know what to do. do u want me back? if u don't can u teach me to forget u? I'm tired of trying. i don't want to remember anything about u. coz the more i remember, the more the pain i feel. i have been deluding myself for the past 3 months. i thought that if i kept studying, i would not remember anything and that i would be able to carry on with life. but i was wrong. i can't do that. even if i am able to forget about u when I'm studying, i can't get rid of u when I'm free, when my brain is idle, especially when I'm lying in bed, trying to sleep. u might want to know that i have dreamt of u quite a few times.
there's this dull ache in my heart that i want to remove. i don't want it to be there. i want to be rid of it. i don't know why I'm still holding on to you. i don't know. i know that we are not even meant to be together. it would be against all the societal norms. chinese being with malay? i don't mind but what about our parents? ur age, my age? there's too huge a gap to fill even if we really love each other, even if we are happy together, are the people that we love happy? i don't know what to do. i need to tell u these things, but i can't find a way to put it. i want to write it out, coz i know that i'm not good with words (spoken). but will u get my message? i want to forget about everything that u said to me, coz i still can remember all the things. I'm also talking more and more like u these days the words that i use are also a mirror of yours.
i want to scream but i can't
i want to let go but i can't
i want to get a hold of myself but i can't
what can i actually do?
I'm useless
I'm just a useless piece of shit
so what if i achieve good grades
what are good grades compared to how i find myself, how i understand others and myself how i can control myself? grades only prove that a person is intellectually smart. it doesn't show the other side of the person.
i can't think clearly now. I'm very confused. and i sound emo.
u know sometimes i just feel like going down to OCC and talk to you for the whole day, but i know that i can't and i know that i won't have to courage to do so. actually i'm timid and shy contrary to what most people view me as.
i want to escape myself. i cannot afford to carry on like this it's too tiring.
i want a break
i want to break clean away from this mess.
god help me.
i'm screwed.